Posted on 03/07/2022 7:56:13 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
CUPERTINO, CA—In an unprecedented effort to put additional pressure on Russia, Apple Inc. has announced they will be removing the entire country from Apple maps.
"As far as we're concerned, Russia no longer exists on our detailed map of the entire world," said CEO Tim Cook from his vacation home in Beijing. "And if Apple Inc. says you don't exist, then you don't exist! Russia is now the East Atlantic Ocean. Take that, Russia!"
Other tech companies are following suit, with Facebook and Twitter also blocking access in Russia. DoorDash and Uber Eats are still active, but will only allow for the delivery of Burger King. Even Roblox has restricted access to their online world to anyone with a Russian-sounding last name.
Any travelers using Apple maps in Russia will be told to drive in a straight line through the East Atlantic Ocean until they reach Asia or a NATO country while the voice navigator relentlessly insults Vladimir Putin.
Cook has promised to restore the country of Russia to Apple maps once Putin ceases his aggression, or when WEF Chairman Klaus Schwab gives him permission to—whichever comes first.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
It’s been said before about the BB, but this was completely believable.
Just great! Now how will I find my way back to my secret dacha in the hills?? Darn you Tim Cook.
Treating Russia like Israel in the arab world? *ouch*
The Cancellation Of A Nation.
Cancel Culture reaches its ultimate plateau which may end up being the plateau of a mushroom cloud.
I am half waiting for CNN to do a segment on the “unpredented” number of dislikes that Putin has gotten. Followed by a panel debate: Putin or Hitler: Who is worse?
How Putin Of Apple!
The Bee should not be giving them any ideas.
They fooled me!
I thought it was real at first, too. Given recent history, it was totally believable.
Its like the blond chick in Game of Thrones first shows you how her dragons can breath fire. America does not have Dragons, they have Apple and Visa etc. And they can be deadly as well. I would suggest that other countries are going to beware before letting Apple and Visa get any more dominate in the future.
i read early on some of the phones were tracked, and prematurely turned off for good...
Play a stupid game, win stupid prizes. At least The Bee makes WWIII sound kind of funny.
“… Russia no longer exists on our detailed map of the entire world,” said CEO Tim Cook from his vacation home in Beijing.…”
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LOL … you’ve got to love the Bee and its well-directed sting. 👏👏😘🐝
Russia? Whodat?
Satire, but really, why would Russia care what some homosexual US company thinks?
I thought this was real. Didn’t even consider it Bee headline.
The forgot to remove the Russian enclave between Poland and Lithuania...
I think they also forgot to take out Northern Sakhalin Island.
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