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I have an idea for the Bee. (Vanity)
My head ^ | 8/19/21 | Me

Posted on 08/19/2021 8:45:20 AM PDT by red-dawg

CALIFORNIA TO ALLOW WILDFIRES TO CONTINUE TO FIGHT GRAVITY CHANGE

(Sacramento) Officials with the California Forestry Department decided to stop fighting wildfires that have been
raging lately in order to fight Gravity Change. Forestry Department head Jim Jacobson said that the planet's
density is the biggest factor in his decision to cease all firefighting operations. "When these large trees burn,
is reduces the planet's density and that's a good thing." Skeptics throughout California disagree, but the
majority of residents support the decision. Brian Wadsworth, who recently lost his home to a fire north of Los Angeles,
thinks it's a good idea. "My family and I lost our home and all of our belongings to this fire, but I know Gravity Change
is a serious threat" he said as he was eating a cheeseburger from a Red Cross truck. "As I've grown older, I've been
getting heavier and so have my kids."


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Miscellaneous; Science
KEYWORDS: globaloney
I thought this up to troll the Climate Alarmist Hoaxers.
1 posted on 08/19/2021 8:45:20 AM PDT by red-dawg
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To: red-dawg

Definitely Bee worthy.


2 posted on 08/19/2021 8:51:16 AM PDT by null and void ("Fact Checkers" Didn't Need To Exist Until The Truth Started Getting Out)
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To: null and void

This isn’t the Bee? Yikes!


3 posted on 08/19/2021 8:53:09 AM PDT by GOPJ (Our incompetent military brass needs to spend less time reading Marx and more time doing their jobs.)
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To: red-dawg

Sarcasm, like liberal scare tactics, needs an element of realism to be more effective. And gravity is not affected by density, only by mass.


4 posted on 08/19/2021 9:11:13 AM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: GOPJ

Not yet.

Then the NYT and CNN...


5 posted on 08/19/2021 9:15:10 AM PDT by null and void ("Fact Checkers" Didn't Need To Exist Until The Truth Started Getting Out)
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To: Telepathic Intruder

“Sarcasm, like liberal scare tactics, needs an element of realism to be more effective.”

A common technique I’ve detected is to start a sarcastic or satirical piece with a premise that is just slightly implausible, perhaps a quote from a person with a slightly oddball name, and then add facts that make it increasingly more absurd as you go. Different people will catch on at different points, but by the end it should be obvious that it’s not real.

Of course some people will get all the way through it and never catch on.


6 posted on 08/19/2021 9:15:54 AM PDT by Flash Bazbeaux
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To: Telepathic Intruder

True, but it’s the liberal’s density that is the target.


7 posted on 08/19/2021 9:17:49 AM PDT by null and void ("Fact Checkers" Didn't Need To Exist Until The Truth Started Getting Out)
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To: red-dawg

Love it! Definitely Bee-worthy.


8 posted on 08/19/2021 9:18:22 AM PDT by Allegra
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To: red-dawg

I would cite the reason is that trees block wind and thus reduce the overall efficiency of wind farms, so it’s best to allow wildfires to burn the trees down in order to provide more green energy. Also, wildfires create wind during the burning process, providing a boost to wind farm energy production. How does that work for you?


9 posted on 08/19/2021 9:18:33 AM PDT by Intar
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To: red-dawg

https://babylonbee.com/news/giant-hurricane-forms-over-washington-from-force-of-jen-psaki-spinning


10 posted on 08/19/2021 9:25:24 AM PDT by BipolarBob (I thought it was okay to leave my trash here. The sign said "Fine for littering".)
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To: Telepathic Intruder

Understood. The foundation of the Climate Hoaxer’s argument is based on incorrect information too, that’s why I went that way. :)


11 posted on 08/19/2021 10:18:12 AM PDT by red-dawg (The difference between protests and insurrections is who’s in charge.)
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To: Intar

That’s a possibility. We could also mention that with all the homes turned into cinders, less electricity is being used.


12 posted on 08/19/2021 10:41:46 AM PDT by red-dawg (The difference between protests and insurrections is who’s in charge.)
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To: null and void
How about this headline?

TAKING A CUE FROM BIDEN, MAYOR LIGHTFOOT WITHDRAWS ALL POLICE FROM CHICAGO

I'm gonna work on this one next.

13 posted on 08/19/2021 12:27:32 PM PDT by red-dawg (The difference between protests and insurrections is who’s in charge.)
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