Twinkies
Twinkies have eternal life.
Can you pick up a couple of Big Macs and just stick them in a kitchen cabinet for a few years as well?
The expiration date for fruitcakes is also in units of centuries.
I live in Phoenix, Arizona and work at the manufacturing facility which had a giant GE sign in the 1950's and a giant Honeywell sign up to the 1980's. We have giant parking lots.
Sometime in the late 1980's someone left a Twinkie in the parking lot next to a parking barrier. It was lying on the ground. I kept track of it . . . for several years. It turned black in the sun. I suspect it also turned very hard.
The one thing that impressed me was that birds, coyotes, and even insects left it alone to rot. They would not eat it!
Twinkies would never last more than a few hours with me around.
20. Winter squash • Shelf life: 1 to 3 months
Wrong at least as regards Butternut. Home grown and picked in October and kept in a back hall (about 65F) - still good after 8 months. Praise God.