Posted on 10/30/2020 12:08:37 PM PDT by sodpoodle
Why do peanuts float in a regular coke and sink in a diet coke. Go ahead and try it.....
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going? (taxes)
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change??? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
HOW DID THE MAN WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS?
Why do we park on a driveway but drive on a parkway?
Because it takes a lot of sugar (39 grams) to sweeten regular Coke which makes it more dense while it takes only a little bit of aspartame (185 mg) in Diet Coke..
good one!!!!
Thanks for the info;)
Because pants is plural. And that's because each leg was separate and had to be laced together so you needed a pair of them.
“If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?”
You can say the same thing about Girl Scout cookies.
The (specific) gravity of the question made it important.
Per Gilligan’s island, if the genius professor could make anything out of anything, couldn’t he just make a boat...out of wood?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Saturday is going to be a glorious day! I get to open the time capsule I buried as a kid. I can’t wait to see how big the puppy got!
With lunacy comes responsibility; we have a duty to make life at least a little more surreal for those whose lives make too much sense.
As Thor responded when Stark pointed out Loki was a mass murderer: "He was adopted?"
But if you want mind-bending thought I submit Mr. Steven Wright, who you may remember as the Guy On The Couch in the movie "Half Baked".
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injection?
Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Are oranges named oranges because oranges are orange OR Is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
“What disease did cured ham actually have?”
I know the answer to that.
Diabetes.
Because it was a sugar cured ham it developed diabetes.
Why is freight on a ship called cargo yet freight on land is called a shipment?
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