Posted on 09/04/2020 11:07:08 PM PDT by servo1969
WASHINGTON, D.C.—An anonymous report from anonymous sources confirmed without a doubt that Trump has punched a baby directly in the face, completely unprovoked. According to the anonymous sources that are so anonymous they speak mainly through quiet whispers carried along on the north winds, Trump was in the Oval Office when he saw the innocent baby and ruthlessly assaulted him.
"That baby, he looked at me funny," said Trump, according to 48 sources who wish to remain unidentified. "I know a funny look when I see one. What a dope! That baby looks like a complete and total loser. You want a piece of me, baby?"
Secret witnesses who have not been named are confirming that Trump wound up and punched the baby square in the face, even though the baby had done nothing aggressive or right-wing that would rightly provoke such an attack. "I prefer babies who aren't total losers," said Trump. "That baby was a complete disaster. Looked at me funny. Probably a member of Antifa. Sad."
Nancy Pelosi has confirmed that the anonymous sources cited by the media have leaked further information on Trump's alleged altercation with the baby. She has assured the public she will be conducting a thorough and anonymous investigation.
The media has reached out to the baby, who chooses to remain anonymous. According to media investigators, the baby, in his first words, has anonymously endorsed Biden for president.
Republicans have denied the allegations, calling them "stupid" and "ridiculous" and saying they're 95% sure Trump would never do anything like that.
About the alleged dis from Trump about the US troops buried in France Here’s what Dana perino said. With attitude.She thinks that it’s a disgrace that they should have relaxed the rules on anonymity
As if trump said it
About the alleged dis from Trump about the US troops buried in France Here’s what Dana perino said. With attitude.She thinks that it’s a disgrace that they should have relaxed the rules on anonymity
As if trump said it
Dana LIKES teams - PARTICULARLY "double-teams"...
Funny stuff!
Was it the E-Trade baby?
lmao
‘
Those people at the Babylon Bee are Brilliant!
“Republicans have denied the allegations, calling them “stupid” and “ridiculous” and saying they’re 95% sure Trump would never do anything like that.”
‘
Baby was a Smawt ass...
I’m getting better!
Reading through the morning headlines, more and more often now I can pick out the Babylon Bee howlers from the usual 21st Century weirdness before looking at the source of the post. I used to pause and say, “Wait a minute ...” but now I can tell a Bee Sting without having to look.
Brilliant satire. I expect one of these days the Babylon Bee will “coin a phrase” that will be on everyone’s tongue across the planet.
Jennifer Griffin just confirmed she read about these anonymous sources for this baby story.
Well now we know.
HA HA!!!!!
Not funny in anyway on every level...
They know there’s enough people out there who hate Trump enough that they think, “I can just imagine him saying something like that.”
It’s Kavanaugh all over again.
As I recall Pelosi was basically implying that’s what Republicans do to Democrats.
When have you ever seen a Republican do that?
Is her nickname, "Finger Cuffs"?
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