Three months into Covid - Reality
– New monthly budget: Gas $0; Entertainment $0; Clothes $0; Groceries $2,799.
– Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to stop COVID-19, but to stop eating.
– When this quarantine is over, let’s not tell certain people.
– I stepped on my scale this morning. It said: “Please practice social distancing. Only one person at a time on scale.”
– Not to brag, but I haven’t been late to anything in over 12 weeks.
– They can open things up this month, but I’m staying in until July to see what happens to the rest of you first!
– The spread of Covid-19 is based on two things:
1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.
– People keep asking: “Is coronavirus REALLY all that serious?” Well, the churches and casinos closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing it’s probably pretty serious.
– Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and ask for money!
– Coronavirus has made us start acting like our dogs. We wander around the house looking for food. We get told “No” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about going for walks and car rides!
– The dumbest thing I’ve bought so far is a 2020 planner.
Those jokes about the virus are great!
Who knew it would take a Pandemic to make me act like a normal person! Wash my hands regularly; shower every day and make sure my clothes get washed!?
Even the elderly man my wife cares for is now washing his hands more than once in the morning and once at night. Unngghh!
The WNBA and MLS will be allowed to compete this year with their normal crowds.
WARNING: DUI checkpoint ahead at the intersection of the kitchen and hallway.