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SATIRE Democrats Warn We Shouldn’t Reopen The Country Until We Can Be Safe From Trump Getting Credit For A Good Economy
Babylon Bee ^ | April 27, 2020 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/28/2020 10:58:40 AM PDT by gattaca

WASHINGTON, D.C.—While President Trump and some Republican governors are pushing to reopen the country soon, Democrats are much more cautious as they see a looming disaster if America ends the shutdown early: Trump getting credit for a growing economy.

“Right now, we have record joblessness, and GDP is certainly going to take a huge hit,” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “That’s exactly what you want in an election year when you’re running against an incumbent. If we reverse that too soon, we’re basically helping Trump’s reelection.”

“If we reopen now, it could be an absolute disaster,” added Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “We could have people in November saying, ‘Wow. Things are getting better. Trump is doing a great job.’ It’s hard to imagine anything worse than that.”

Pelosi and Schumer said that "out of an abundance of caution," they need to wait to make sure things stay pretty bad until after the election, as that will be the only way to stave off another Trump term.

“Oh, and I guess if we reopen things too soon,” Schumer added as an afterthought, “it could also lead to a resurgence of people dying.”

“Well, we’d have to hope,” Pelosi said, “or it would look like Trump knows what he’s doing.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 04/28/2020 10:58:40 AM PDT by gattaca
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To: gattaca

Dems are still pissed that millions did not die so they could win the white house in the fall. They pray for the worst conclusion of all of this because they believe it would be the best for them.

If it is not bad the liberal media just makes up more new and bigger lies to keep their listeners happy.


2 posted on 04/28/2020 11:02:23 AM PDT by oldenuff35
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To: gattaca

As usual, good satire & humor requires an element of truth in it to be truly funny. In this case, the Bee has nearly swerved entirely out of the satire lane with some very uncomfortable truths for the Dem-Soc-Libs out there.


3 posted on 04/28/2020 11:02:37 AM PDT by T-Bird45 (It feels like the seventies, and it shouldn't.)
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To: gattaca

Truth and satire are the same here.


4 posted on 04/28/2020 11:03:36 AM PDT by wally_bert (Transmission tone, Selma.)
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To: gattaca

This isn’t satire, it’s the truth. There are even some Republicans involved. Are you listening, Mike Dewine?


5 posted on 04/28/2020 11:06:13 AM PDT by Wiser now (Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)
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To: gattaca

Its not sarc.

But it could also have just been written as to say won’t reopen the country unless Trump loses in 2020.

Which isn’t goingto happen unless massive fraud occurs, this mail-in idea cannpt be allowed to occur. There is no secure chain of possession of ballots nor the smallest ofidentity proof who cast those ballots.


6 posted on 04/28/2020 11:06:46 AM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: wally_bert

correct since only Dem states and areas seed to be more affected.
Excuse to hurt the economy and hurt the President.


7 posted on 04/28/2020 11:06:53 AM PDT by manc ( If they want so called marriage equality then they should support polygamy too.)
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To: gattaca

OOOooooohhhh, satire that leaves a bruise. I like it.


8 posted on 04/28/2020 11:08:07 AM PDT by BBQToadRibs
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To: gattaca

Satire. Not really. Sadly all too true.


9 posted on 04/28/2020 11:09:43 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
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To: gattaca

Good satire is impossible today, because even the most outlandish things (such as ghoulish Leftists wishing for the deaths of their fellow citizens in order to achieve a political goal) are reality, or close to it.


10 posted on 04/28/2020 11:18:31 AM PDT by rlmorel (The Coronavirus itself will not burn down humanity. But we may burn ourselves down to be rid of it.)
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To: gattaca

I guess they don’t want to showboat their presidential candidate....he is a colossal embarrassment and an old dementia fart!! He doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going .. they know Trump would make pate paste out of him! I guarantee you there will be no debates with Trump! They just keep moving the goalposts until November 3! The bastards have the wind to their backs and I fear the American people once again will screw the USA!


11 posted on 04/28/2020 11:18:48 AM PDT by RoseofTexas
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To: gattaca

That’s been their plan ever since they colluded with the CCP to release it. Heck, old Fauxi probably assisted in engineering the darn virus. This whole thing was likely planned from the get-go.
There are some evil SOBs that really need to be hanged....BIG TIME.


12 posted on 04/28/2020 11:25:39 AM PDT by lgjhn23 (Libs are a virus.....the DemoVirus!!)
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To: T-Bird45

Trump’s not going to get anything, including reelected, unless he really does reopens the country. He hasn’t been very good on that so far.


13 posted on 04/28/2020 11:36:42 AM PDT by livius
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To: gattaca

The headline incorrectly identifies this as satire.


14 posted on 04/28/2020 11:41:14 AM PDT by OHelix
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To: gattaca

God needs to turn Pelosi into a pillar of salt.


15 posted on 04/28/2020 12:21:19 PM PDT by ridesthemiles
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To: wally_bert

Certainly is not satire. This is a fact that the New World Order and One World Government are using this pandemic to further their promotion.


16 posted on 04/28/2020 12:51:43 PM PDT by chopperk
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To: gattaca

Bookmark


17 posted on 04/28/2020 1:34:41 PM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you care! Guilting you is how they control you.)
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