Posted on 02/11/2020 1:05:20 PM PST by sodpoodle
At the Saturday morning service the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is so popular.
Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota,stands up and proclaims: "If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!”
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says: "If the Rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!"
More sighs and a loud applause.
Estelle Rubin, age 78, stands and announces with a smile: "If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex." There is total silence. The Rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?”
Estelle’s 80-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side,
while his wife replies.
"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said: "*F*** him."*
--
:)
Funny.
Now I am ashamed of my self.
But still smiling.
Still wanting the FR like button.
Speaking of a Rabbi...
TAXES: THE 19 1/2% SOLUTION
https://www.brighteon.com/45b92778-827a-4f41-9d9d-07569f251ee7
LOL!
Oy vey...
Yes! Me too. And the emoticon of the smiley rolling around and pounding the floor!
Good idea - I also miss the ‘number of views’. Many Freepers read the articles, but don’t comment.
god bless;)
Read quickly, because it might be pulled;)
____________________________________________
It wouldn’t be the first time one of these threads of yours got pulled.
You like pushing the envelope, don’t you.
LOL
"...but the breakfast was my idea."
... man corners the rabbi and says "Rabbi, I got problems. My only son is marrying a shiksa!"
The rabbi responds that that the man indeed has problems, and counsels to man to pray asking God for direction.
The man starts praying "God, I got problems, and I don't know what to do. My only son is marrying a shiksa..."
Suddenly, a voice booms out from all around. "Problems!? Problems? You think you have problems! I got problems! Let me tell you about my only Son...!"
“So he’s retiring, f*** him. Give him a dollar.”
;^)
That is my favorite blonde joke, the punch line the same, post man is retiring and the blonde gives him sex and breakfast, the postman ask about it, she says my husband said f—k him, the breakfast was my idea.
you were first, love that joke always tell it at retirement gigs.
..but the cookies and milk were my ideas.
:^)
Ha!
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