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1 posted on 03/07/2019 10:37:43 AM PST by Coleus
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To: Coleus
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS?

COME IN AND HEAR OUR ORGANIST

2 posted on 03/07/2019 10:40:15 AM PST by Publius ("Who is John Galt?" by Billthedrill & Publius available at Amazon.)
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To: Coleus

Not a sign, but....

The pastor was ending his sermon on temperance:
“If I had all the beer in the world, I would pour it in the river. And if I had all the wine in the world, I would pour it in the river. And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I would pour it in the river.” Then he sat down.

The choir director rose, and told the congregation, “For our closing hymn we will sing #365 ‘Shall We Gather At The River.’”


3 posted on 03/07/2019 10:46:18 AM PST by fredhead (Duty, Honor, Country.....Honor, Courage, Commitment)
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To: Coleus

Great, that Kate and Edith.


4 posted on 03/07/2019 11:00:42 AM PST by Bethaneidh
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To: Coleus

My favorite:

How do you want your afterlife?
Smoking or none?


5 posted on 03/07/2019 11:09:03 AM PST by taxcontrol
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To: Coleus

I saw one last fall that said “Come try our new pumpkin spice communion wafers! Just kidding, but come anyway!”


6 posted on 03/07/2019 11:09:37 AM PST by pepsi_junkie (Often wrong, but never in doubt!)
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To: Coleus

“Love everyone...

I’ll sort ‘em out later”

-God


8 posted on 03/07/2019 11:16:23 AM PST by RedStateRocker
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To: Coleus

These were great, needed the faith lift, LOL


10 posted on 03/07/2019 11:52:11 AM PST by DataJunkie (Interesting)
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To: Coleus

THE LADIES OF THE CHURCH HAVE CAST OFF CLOTHING OF ALL KINDS, AND CAN BE SEEN IN THE NARTHEX ON YOUR WAY OUT OF THE SERVICE.


11 posted on 03/07/2019 12:03:15 PM PST by left that other site (For America to have CONFIDENCE in our future, we must have PRIDE in our HISTORY... DJT)
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To: Coleus

I think my favorite is:

“Do you have children? For those who don’t know, we have child care in the basement.”

Emailed to me by my aunt, who as a pastors wife collects these church funnies.


13 posted on 03/07/2019 12:56:11 PM PST by jimtorr
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To: Coleus
The church across the street from ours always has pithy sayings on their billboard. Here's a couple that stood out.

Anyone can honk. Tithe if you love Jesus.

Now open between Easter and Christmas.

14 posted on 03/07/2019 1:28:23 PM PST by Ol' Dan Tucker (For 'tis the sport to have the engineer hoist with his own petard., -- Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 4)
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To: Coleus
Loved them all but this is still my favorite.

Church is a hospital for sinners, not a rest home for Saints.
Hughesville Baptist Church.

15 posted on 03/07/2019 2:09:51 PM PST by MosesKnows
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