3. For long relationships, women tend to prefer altruistic men who are kind and do good deeds.
This is not true. From the time they develop an interest in boys, the majority of teenage girls tend to go for the “bad boy” type, and usually stick with that for years.
I’ve been in relationships with women who had been involved in a couple of abusive relationships, every time they will dump a “nice guy” who would never hurt a woman, for the first idiot that comes along and treats them like dirt.
This has also been proven in clinical studies of abusive relationships. Both men and women involved in abusive relationships follow predictable patterns. Long term verbal abuse is followed by long term physical abuse, and by the time the physical abuse starts, the woman has been brainwashed or indoctrinated (by verbal abuse) to believe she deserves no better, and brought it on herself. It’s a distinct pattern, and predictable.
If you ever hear someone berating his wife or girlfriend, “you’re just so stupid”, “you can’t do anything right” etc, that’s part of a distinct pattern. The women follow a similar pattern and will actually look for someone else who is just the same, after finally getting out of an abusive relationship. And they don’t realize they are doing it. They are usually the type who try their very best to please the man they are with, and there is no pleasing him. They can’t understand why nothing works, they try their best and he still just blows up every time.
I’ve seen this several times, been dumped with no warning by several women and didn’t know why, that’s why I started to research it. Each had been through abusive relationships before I came along. Everything going well, a close friend telling me she loves me, suddenly one day she won’t answer the phone or the door. When I finally find out, she met some doofus who treated her like dirt, let him move in 3 days later, less than 2 months and he beat the crap out of her and put her in the hospital. (True story) My friend’s wife had been telling me just be patient, she loved me and was scared as I was, she had told her she loved me. Saw her one day, everything fine, 2 days later she wouldn’t answer the phone...
The couple who were close friends told her do not ever bring him to their house again. She bumped the coffee table getting up, spilled his beer and ran to the kitchen to get a towel. He threw a screaming fit, called her things I won’t include here, demanded she go get him another effing beer, before she could clean up the mess. After he put her in the hospital her father told him if he ever came within a hundred yards of her he’d look him up with a shotgun. I lost track of them, never found out what happened after that. When she met me she had just divorced another idiot who beat the crap out of her a dozen times. That’s why she was scared to start anything with me.
This is the story every time, it’s a proven and predictable pattern. I’ve been through the exact same scenario at least 5 times with different women. Those who do prefer a nice guy always will, those who look for and are screwed around by the bad boy type, always will. Unless after 20 years or so they finally come to their senses...that’s uncommon though.
As a general rule though, #3 is bull...
“women who had been involved in a couple of abusive relationships, every time they will dump a “nice guy” who would never hurt a woman, for the first idiot that comes along and treats them like dirt.”
While in college, I decided to go into full Jerk mode for a month. WOW did I get results. I was and am one of the nice guys and wanted to see what would happen. I had women throwing themselves at me. At the end of the month, I shut down the jerk persona and they all left. Interesting experiment.
I got married to a woman who was looking for a “nice guy” and we have been married 30 years.
Here’s the thing. Most women dislike themselves. They hate the way they look, their face, their hair, their body, their education, their job, their dwelling, their clothes. I mean, everything.
So along comes Mr. Nice guy. He gets smitten and tells her she is smart, fun, beautiful, etc etc. She likes it BRIEFLY. She watches how he seems to be very content with her. So soon, she starts thinking he isn’t very bright because he can’t see how awful she really is. It’s hard to love someone you think isn’t very bright.
So along comes a jerk. He treats her with casual contempt, and seems to barely enjoy being around her. He’ll laugh AT her or put her down at the drop of a hat. She seethes in resentment. BUT, soon she “realizes” he sees her the way she sees herself. Soon she will do anything for her because she respects him for not acting like a clown to impress her. He sees her as she sees herself. It’s like catnip to them.
Sicko, but it fits an astonishing number of the bad relationships you see out there where women dump nice guys and pick up with jerks.
I’m dating an exception at the moment. To be fair, she took herself out of circulation and wasn’t even looking.
I knew a couple that had broken up. He moved away and the gal continued to pal around with our group. She often talked about wanting to meet a nice guy with a good job and steady personality. But, if we went somewhere for some drinks she was drawn to bad guys with tattoos like a moth to a flame.
I agree there are women like that. Though I don’t think it’s the majority. My step-sister is one of those. She’s been married three times and the last husband ran up her credit cards and wiped out her bank accounts when he left.
You could probably stick her in a room with 100 guys and 99 of them are good men and she would zone in on the one ahole in The room.
May I also suggest that you should look at who your attracted to? I know I was always attracted to women that had problems. Their dad was an alcoholic, their mom beat them, uncle molested them, etc. Thought I could be a white knight and save them. I would get friend zoned or dumped for a bad boy. I finally dated someone that was not my typical type and that I wasn’t strongly attracted to. I fell madly in love with her and we have been together for 25 years now.
Some men are addicted to the adrenalin rush from things like sky diving.
Some women are addicted to the adrenalin rush of being in a relationship with an explosive man. To them, nice guys are boring.