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A bit naughty - but hey we are all adults;)
1 posted on 01/06/2019 4:11:04 AM PST by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle
Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re eighty..............who cares?

I've had a body full of stitches, hundreds of stitches and I'm not yet 80, BUT, I do know that I heal much slower today than 40-50-60 years ago...so I care.

No mo stitches.

2 posted on 01/06/2019 4:18:05 AM PST by USS Alaska (Nuke all mooselimb terrorists, today.)
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To: sodpoodle

Thanks for the Sunday morning laugh.


3 posted on 01/06/2019 4:19:12 AM PST by lucky american (Progressives are attac Iking our rights and y'all will sit there and take it.)
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To: sodpoodle

The other day I was driving down the road and accidentally rear ended the car in front of me. The driver got out and came running back to my truck. He was a dwarf. He looked at me and said, “I am NOT happy!”. I said, “Ok, which one are you?”.

My wife was standing in front of the mirror. She said, “I’m old, fat and ugly”, then stared at me. She then said, “You know, you could give me a compliment”. I said, “Ok, your eyesight is perfect”.


4 posted on 01/06/2019 4:33:20 AM PST by GeorgiaDawg32
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To: sodpoodle

LMAO!!! Awesome post - Thanks for the laughs!


7 posted on 01/06/2019 4:40:35 AM PST by Caipirabob (Communists...Socialists...Fascists & AntiFa...Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: sodpoodle

When I die I want to go like my 80 year old grandfather peacefully and in my sleep, not screaming and full of terror like the passengers in his car at the time.


8 posted on 01/06/2019 4:42:37 AM PST by circlecity
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To: sodpoodle

thanks....
Gotta go visit a fella from the Elks Lodge who needs some cheering-up.


9 posted on 01/06/2019 5:09:53 AM PST by ptsal
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To: sodpoodle
Reminds me of a joke that George Burns used to tell when he was in his 90s. He'd be on stage smoking that cigar of his,big grin on his face and he'd say...”Three doctors have told me to quit smoking.Two are dead and the third one isn't feeling too good”.
10 posted on 01/06/2019 5:11:21 AM PST by Gay State Conservative (Mitt Romney: Bringing Massachusetts Values To The Great State Of Utah.)
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To: sodpoodle




11 posted on 01/06/2019 5:21:28 AM PST by Delta 21
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To: sodpoodle

My wife asked me if she could get a boob job to make her boobs bigger. I told her all she had to do was rub toilet paper in between her boos twice a day for 6 months and they would get bigger.

After a month she said nothing was happening and it wasn’t working and she asked my what I thought, I said, Hmm it worked on your ass!


14 posted on 01/06/2019 6:50:11 AM PST by eyeamok
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To: sodpoodle

Bump


15 posted on 01/06/2019 6:57:36 AM PST by Oldeconomybuyer (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.)
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To: sodpoodle

You’re a hoot.


16 posted on 01/06/2019 7:19:10 AM PST by moovova
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To: sodpoodle

Thanks!


17 posted on 01/06/2019 7:28:57 AM PST by trebb (Put your money where your mouth is - or be deemed "empty hot air worthless")
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To: sodpoodle

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing.


20 posted on 01/06/2019 8:35:05 AM PST by Two Kids' Dad (((( Congress let Comey testify without being under oath. Let that sink in. ))))
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To: sodpoodle

Very Good!

Here’s one more:


A 80 year old guy is out fishing.

He sitting in his boat, by himself, when he hears a voice say, “‘Pick me up.”

He looks around and doesn’t see anybody around.

He thinks he is dreaming when he hears the voice say again, “‘Pick me up.”

He looks in the water and there, floating on the top, is a little green frog.

The old man is bewildered. He cant believe his eyes. He says, “Are you talking to me?”

‘Yes”, the frog says, “I’m talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!”

The man looks at the frog for a short time, reached over, picks up the frog carefully, and places it in his front breast pocket.

The frog says, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.”

He opens his pocket, looks at the frog and says, “Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”

With age comes wisdom.


21 posted on 01/06/2019 10:00:02 AM PST by Doctor DNA (This is not your grandfather's internet.)
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To: sodpoodle

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


22 posted on 01/06/2019 10:05:04 AM PST by Doctor DNA (This is not your grandfather's internet.)
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