Posted on 12/03/2018 5:50:00 PM PST by proud American in Canada
Hi everyone. I need a bit of help. I've had a serious drinking problem for a very long time. My husband doesn't drink. But he does hit me. I guess he feels entitled to since I'm the one who causes all the problems apparently. I'm up in bed I haven't had any food for dinner. I need doesn't even want me to come down he shakes me he hits me; I'm supposed to go to rehab on Wednesday for 3 months. Not really looking forward to it. I just wondered if anyone had any advice I'm really at a loss here I just want to move back to the States my son is 23 he lives here without paying anything. Our daughter lives in Montreal and just going to school. And apparently I'm supposed to pay everything from what my dad left when he died. I could tell you one thing... If my father were alive you would kick my husband a**.
I spent thousands of US Dollars going to see him 5 * when he was dying I wish everyday that I could call him. I wanted to just send a card. To GW. It doesn't matter how old your parent is, it's still very tough.
Anyway I need advice please? I would really appreciate it I know a lot of women have gone through this and I just want to know how you survived
No. Just telling the truth.
Thank you. Truly God has given us many gifts, but I truly believe that alcohol was invented by Lucifer. I really appreciate your post thanks again
Thank you. Truly God has given us many gifts, but I truly believe that alcohol was invented by Lucifer. I really appreciate your post thanks again
No, not everything is your fault.
That’s a lie.
There is NO justification for a man beating a woman. Doesn’t matter if you drink or not.
That said, I agree with the advice to get out.
Get your money and get into that rehab and let the no good husband and son fend for themselves.
And yes, Teen Challenge is a fantastic organization.
And I don’t know where you stand with God, but start talking to Him and asking Him to protect you.
And I and many FRiends, will be praying for you.
You are very right. My liver is at its end. God and my face is still bleeding. Because my husband has all kinds of crap on the floor and I fell and hit myself right in the face and I’ve been bleeding ever since lovely huh? But you are absolutely right, professional I’ve known this for a while. I’m just a bit scared.
You’re a moron.
Going cold turkey can kill.
You are right Robert. That is what my friends tell me. There are so many times I’ve wanted to spend money on house but then I think I need to make sure do you have money for myself. Thank you for your advice. All the best to you and yours. And everyone else who took the time to answer me.
I just wanna go home. I’m not a Canadian. I told my kids for both born in the US, but who grew up here, that they should marry someone from their own country.. if they choose us that would be fantastic. But more likely it will be Canada. Is just I really thought that Canada would just be like the us but it’s really not
Yes, quit.
No, don’t do it cold turkey by yourself.
Get professional help and detox under medical supervision otherwise the shock can kill you.
Yes space between myself and my husband would help a lot. Thanks again for your advice much appreciated take care
You sound like you need emergency help. A dear friend of mine miraculously survived a body shut down from alcohol abuse. I saw him just before surgery. The doc said he had a 50 percent chance of surviving surgery. I thought the doc was being generous and was convinced my friend would die. He did not.
3 yrs later sober, lost all his fat, looks handsome and has a pretty girlfriend. He went through aa and had to confront who he was.
He is selling his house and moving away for a true fresh start.
You know that what you’ve written about your son and husband are half true. What you do know is true is that you are out of control and flirting with death. Repent Ma’m, your life is at stake.
Call for God, and listen. He will speak to you. Though you may not like what you hear, you must listen. Go, now, to a Hospital or woman’s shelter!
Great advice for the heart! That’s where the hurts gather.
Spare me your drivel...
Get help. Go to rehab. Go to AA. Do whatever you need to do to get sober.
You can do it.
My dad was a great man and father. But he was a functional alcoholic his entire life. Not a mean drunk, a quiet one, often just drank to insensibility and passed out.
His alcoholism created terrible problems in his marriage, but my parents preservered.
Then, at the age of 60, he went into rehab, and got sober. He spent last 15 years of his life sober, and helped (via AA) a lot of people...often running meetings and going three or four nights a week.
But it was worth it. We saw a man we had never seen. He was always an extremely laconic and quiet man with very little sense of humor, but when he became sober, he was still the same man, but opened up, laughed, talked...just amazing.
When he got sober, he and my mother demonstrated to us the love and affection that was there all those years, and we got to see them in love...again. Nearly brings tears to my eyes to think of it.
Of all the things he did in his life, it is getting sober of which I am the proudest of.
YOU CAN DO IT. Get sober. You CAN do it! It will change your life. Regardless of what happens with your husband, you need to address that. It looks like an insurmountable mountain, but you have to take that first step.
Good luck, proud American in Canada, and Godspeed.
While your alcohol problem may have led in some way to the physical stuff that’s still not right and is on your husband, so don’t think it’s all your fault. You’re not the only one who needs help, here. You get into rehab, wean yourself off of it, won’t be easy but you have the will to change your circumstances for the better. Your husband needs counseling and possibly some sort of intervention as well, if he won’t agree to it then get yourself out of there. If you’re paying for everything you should secure your finances before you go in for three months too, he might just clean you out if he can. Good luck, keep your chin up. We all screw up at times, and sometimes royally. What really matters is what you do to set yourself right again. Do you believe in God? I hope you do. Pray to Him, lift your burden up, in all humble thankfulness for what you do have, but ask for help. Be open to the answer that comes, it may not be what you’d envisioned.
Leave him.
Do not waste your life with him.
Get this book but DO NOT let the abuser see it!!!
“Why Does He Do That?”
Available on amazon.com
Have it shipped to a friend’s house so he doesn’t see it. Or get it at a book store. Hide it from him!
Or have it sent to the woman’s shelter you will hopefully be living at soon!!!
GET OUT ASAP ! Abusive men do not change. Be careful to not pick the same type of guy again. See that book for help. There are other books by the same author that help too.
Find battered woman shelter and stay away from him for the rest of your life.
He is an emotionally controlling abuser who escalated to a physical abuser.
These men sometimes escalate to murder.
Sorry to be so real..sorry you are in this situation.
I know how this is, please please get to a shelter and never ever miss him.
He’s a monster.
Pray for protection from God Almighty, and get out of there as soon as he is out of the house.
Do not answer phone calls or anything from him.
Please be careful.
Well, now that you have cleared up the confusion regarding the fact that it ain’t, the problem solver advice place, you are positioned to resolve your ‘problems’ on your own.
Number 1, Do not post your problems of this magnitude on line.
Number 2, Run do not walk out of Canada.
Number 3, Secure whatever money that you may still have from others who are dependent upon it. They are going to want it now more than ever, and they will be after it.
Number 4, I think that you are most likely fine for the most part, but you had an event and you have been deceived into blaming yourself for it.
Number 5, Read Number 1
I agree 100% with the above. In fact, there's a 1-800 number for a nationwide hotline for domestic violence.
I am praying for you, too. I looked it up: 800-799-SAFE (7233). open 24/7
It is super hard to call police, especially if you feel like it's all your fault. It isn't. He has a choice in how he decides to behave, and if he can't stand being around you because of your drinking/behaviors, he can always step outside and go for a very long walk, or go chop some wood or something.
Anyway, if calling the police is too difficult emotionally right now, you can call that hotline number.
I'm not a drinker...only very occasionally and only a couple, that's it. But I am a domestic violence survivor. Being battered for any reason isn't worth the tears you end up shedding. And you can't allow your emotions to overrule your own good sense.
I'm glad you're going to rehab, it's a good start to a life time of changes for the better.
Get into rehab now . It solves 2 problems . 1 : You begin your recovery . 2: You will be seporated from your husband .
Once you are sober you can make better choices . It won’t be easy , but it can be done .
Are you kidding me? I didn’t give her medical advice. I told her how someone I knew kicked alcohol.
And I advised her on some simple tricks to attempt to stay out of whatever fights are getting violent, and hoped she would get away from him as soon as she got sober enough to get out. You can’t find fault with that.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.