Posted on 06/15/2018 6:20:11 AM PDT by metmom
BILLUND, DENMARKLego has just introduced new and improved interlocking plastic bricks that will instantly kill you when you step on them, sources at the companys headquarters confirmed Thursday.
The sharper edges in the new design will just immediately put you out of your misery, so you dont have to roll around on the ground in excruciating pain for minutes on end. Utilizing advanced laser-driven techniques, Lego factories can now hone the edges of the famously sharp and painful bricks to such a fine point that the human nervous system instantly shuts down upon coming into contact with them.
Our engineers have been hard at work trying to come up with ways to make an even deadlier brick, and theyve finally made a breakthrough, Lego head of design Arnbjørn Frandsen said in a press conference. According to Frandsen, internal company tests have shown the new bricks have a 99.7% success rate at ending the life of the unfortunate person to inadvertently step on even just a single Lego. This is the most promising advancement weve made in our brick design since we first introduced the bricks that make it feel like your foot is being stabbed by a hundred sharpened katanas many decades ago.
haha! Can’t remember the last time a headline had me rolling
Quite humane. It’s about time.....................
We take better care of our Legos, but I wear wear shoes around the house for the kids’ other stuff, though.
Those little things are evil. My boys more than once had to recover theirs from the bin because Insteppwd on fhem while trying to enter the nouse quietly after a nightshift. Im sure now they set boobtpy traps ;)
This Is an issue We Need
To get under Control!
New improved Legos with Caltrop technology!
Did they use animals in testing?
At what point did they prove that the blocks actually worked on humans?
They may work better than exploding land mines.
What did the FBI know and when did they know it. Are these new blocks being infiltrated into the USA?
Does the manufacturing of the blocks deplete the ozone layer?
Oh, the humanity of the evil plastic block.
Thanks for posting! Good news for all parents.
Ever scraped a melted Lego off the inside of the dryer?..............
Ridiculous. The entire point of Lego mines is to cause suffering. I hate it when they change a perfectly good product.
Don’t forget the warning labels.
My grandkid’s favorite toy is a handheld device. Legos is runner-up.
I hear the Lego testing job openings do NOT require a drug test. So all you druggies here is a job just for you.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My kids had mostly Duplos and stepping on those was no better.
Bigger isn’t necessarily less painful.
I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to toss the whole batch of them out. Probably every time I stepped on one.
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