My view has always been, and remains to this day - a very simple view.
If a woman refuses to take her husband’s name; this says that she views this marriage as a “temporay” arrangement, and sees keeping her last name, as just a means to make the divorce that much easier.
So, why would a man want to enter into a “lifelong” arrangement, with a woman who already has one foot out the door?
Our 40 years puts the lie to your assumption.