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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 09/23/2016 6:10:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
September 23rd is Bisexuality Day
This thread is either going to end up to be really hilarious or really lame, but I can't quite decide which it will be yet; it could go both ways.
*****
We must make this thread happen bi any means necessary
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The newest LGBT festival.... North Bi Northwest
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If you ask bisexuals about their sexuality, they couldn't give you a straight answer.
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I'm still finding myself on both sides. Whether you're raising a point or split down the middle, it doesn't really matter to me, though.
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Did you hear about the bisexual support group?
It's called AAM, Ambivalents Anonymous Maybe, and meets twice a week, unless something comes up.
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When a bisexual flirts with you, it's called a bipass.
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Huh?
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1 percent of people are bisexual, the other 99 percent got sucked into it!
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I used to work in a supermarket and once had the following conversation with a customer:
"Would you like paper or plastic today?"
"Oh, it doesn't matter. I'm bi-sack-sual!"
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Between Two Ferns with Hillary Clinton
What's Wrong With These Photos?
How to deal with no smoking signs
Smoke em if ya got em.
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Heat Wave
Well, Wednesday is gonna suck.
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Locked Up
No one can take it now.
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Driveway
You're doing it wrong.
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Which way?
And you do the hokey pokey and ya turn yourself around....
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Blending In
She was always a wallflower.
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Product Placement
Wow Granny, what big hoots you have.
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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bisexuality; ofst; silliness
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Speaking of product placement....
To: Lucky9teen
2
posted on
09/23/2016 6:11:39 AM PDT
by
Dacula
(Southern lives matter!)
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 6amgelsmama; 88keys; ...
3
posted on
09/23/2016 6:11:40 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(http://stepstopoliticalepiphany.com - 5 Steps to Political Epiphany)
To: Lucky9teen
4
posted on
09/23/2016 6:12:46 AM PDT
by
real saxophonist
( YouTube + Twitter + Facebook = YouTwitFace.com)
To: Lucky9teen
5
posted on
09/23/2016 6:14:32 AM PDT
by
reed13k
To: Lucky9teen
I’m Bi-sexual..............
Every time I mention sex, my wife says BYE...............
6
posted on
09/23/2016 6:17:30 AM PDT
by
Red Badger
(YES, I'm Deplorable! I Deplore the entire Democrat Party!....................)
To: Lucky9teen
7
posted on
09/23/2016 6:17:54 AM PDT
by
mykroar
(Democrats in 2016: The party of genitalia, real or imagined.)
To: Lucky9teen
Top 10, maybe.
30 Harsh Things A Woman Can Say To A Naked Man
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird.
h/t Travis McGee
Remember Mood Rings?
The lady said, "My boyfriend gave me a mood ring. I like it lot. It's really handy. When I'm in a good mood, it makes a soft blue color. When I'm in a bad mood, it makes a big red mark on his forehead."
Last evening I was having dinner with a World Chess Champion in a restaurant with checkered tablecloths. Took the guy an hour to pass me the salt.
h/t NOBO2013
Seriously, I don't know exactly when the UFO landed and dumped off all these stupid people. But, apparently they aren't coming back for them.
Speaking of stupid people, a winning solution:
Somebody stole my identity last week. Today, they showed up at my door and pleaded for me to take it back.
Winter's coming...
A recent newspaper article reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually admitted in Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight..."
h/t C210N
An elderly couple in their 70’s were about to get married.
He said: I want to keep my house.
She said: That’s fine with me.
He said: I want to keep my Cadillac.
She said: That’s fine with me.
He said: I want to have sex 6 times a week.
She said: Put me down for Fridays.
Sorry about the quality.
8
posted on
09/23/2016 6:17:55 AM PDT
by
upchuck
(Proud member of the 50% in the deplorable basket. Go Trump/Pence!)
To: Lucky9teen
Click the picture for an improved video...
9
posted on
09/23/2016 6:18:49 AM PDT
by
Rebel_Ace
(HITLER! There, Zero to Godwin in 5.2 seconds.)
To: Lucky9teen
10
posted on
09/23/2016 6:19:17 AM PDT
by
dayglored
("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
To: Lucky9teen
11
posted on
09/23/2016 6:19:23 AM PDT
by
mykroar
(Democrats in 2016: The party of genitalia, real or imagined.)
To: Red Badger
12
posted on
09/23/2016 6:20:24 AM PDT
by
PROCON
("Lock Her Up! Lock Her Up!")
To: Lucky9teen
13
posted on
09/23/2016 6:22:04 AM PDT
by
Travis McGee
(www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
14
posted on
09/23/2016 6:22:36 AM PDT
by
mykroar
(Democrats in 2016: The party of genitalia, real or imagined.)
To: Lucky9teen
15
posted on
09/23/2016 6:23:58 AM PDT
by
left that other site
(You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
To: Lucky9teen
16
posted on
09/23/2016 6:28:59 AM PDT
by
Travis T. OJustice
(<---Time Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year)
To: Lucky9teen
17
posted on
09/23/2016 6:28:59 AM PDT
by
Travis T. OJustice
(<---Time Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year)
To: Lucky9teen
18
posted on
09/23/2016 6:29:00 AM PDT
by
Travis T. OJustice
(<---Time Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year)
To: Lucky9teen
19
posted on
09/23/2016 6:33:20 AM PDT
by
TADSLOS
(Vote Trump. Defeat the Clinton Crime Syndicate. Reset America.)
To: Lucky9teen
20
posted on
09/23/2016 6:33:33 AM PDT
by
Heartlander
(Prediction: Increasingly, logic will be seen as a covert form of theism. - Denyse O'Leary)
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