Irish Rovers - The Scottsman Lyrics.
Well a Scottsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked the he’d drunk more than his share
He fumbled ‘round until he could no long keep his feet
And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street
About the thime two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
“See yon sleeping Scottsman, so strong a handsome built
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt”
They krept up on the sleeping Scottsman quite as could be
They lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said “We must be gone.
Let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along”
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scotts kilt did lift and show
Now the Scottsman woke to natures call and stumbled for the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what’s before his eyes,
“Lad, I don’t know where you’ve been, but I see you’ve won first prize”
So this woman goes to the vet and complains about her dog’s excessive snoring. The doc tells her to find a ribbon and tie it around his private at night.
So the woman goes home and goes to bed and the dog starts snoring. She lies there for an hour and finally gets up, rummages in the closet until she finds a red ribbon. And she ties it around the dog’s private and sure enough it works.
Then a couple of hours later, her husband stumbles in after a night of drinking and flops into bed and begins snoring.
So the woman rummages around in the closet until she finds a blue ribbon and ties it around her husband’s private. And once again it worked like a charm.
A couple of hours later the husband wakes up needing to pee. The dog follows him into the bathroom.
It was then that the Husband noticed the blue ribbon around his privates, and the red ribbon around the dog’s privates. So the husband says to the dog, “I don’t know where we went or what we did, but we took first and second prize.”