Posted on 12/15/2010 5:59:24 AM PST by CSM
Brother needs help, but how?
Dear Dave,
My brother and I recently received an inheritance after our mom died. Hes never been very good with money, so I was proud of him when he used his portion to pay off his debts. But then he went out and financed a $23,000 van he cant afford. Im afraid hes falling right back into the same old money problems, but I dont know how to talk to him about it.
Diana
Dear Diana,
Over the years Ive learned that you cant make people listen to you. Even with what I do for a living I dont throw my opinion around unless someone asks.
Im glad you realize there are some boundaries here. Still, theres no reason you cant create a situation where he can ask your opinion. You might begin with talking about some of the mistakes youve made in the past. This could help him connect with you and feel more comfortable opening up about his own situation. Once he realizes youve learned from your mistakes and havent repeated them, he might feel comfortable enough to ask how you accomplished it all. Then, once he does that, the door is open!
But you cant become preachy or act like a know-it-all every time someone does something dumb. Acting that way makes you seem arrogant, and youll probably only succeed in hurting the other persons feelings and making them tune you out completely.
Dave
Time to close up?
Dear Dave,
I have my own medical practice, but Im in a lot of debt and the practice just doesnt seem to be working out. I took out a large loan in the beginning, and I cant seem to stay current on the payments no matter how hard I work. Do you think I should file bankruptcy?
John
Dear John,
You went to school to be a doctor, which is an admirable thing. But now youre also a businessman, so you need how to run your interest profitably.
Chances are youre not bankrupt. It sounds to me like you made the mistake of starting a new business without first having a realistic business plan in place. Talk to your lender, and let them know what your situation is like right now. They may be willing to work with you on a plan that would give you a little bit of breathing room.
You might also look into the possibility of hiring a business manager. This would require paying someone an additional salary, but at least youd be assured that the business side of things is being run properly.
But dont file bankruptcy, John. Its a stressful and emotionally-damaging process. Youre doing what you love and what you were called to do. The trick is to free up the money that will allow you to continue doing this great work!
Dave
If you would like a good read about the first topic, check out “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud.
Dave Ramsey Fan Ping List.
If you would like to be added to the Live like no one else, so that you can LIVE like no one else list, feel free to Freepmail me.
Barry
P.S.: I don't get any solace from my wife either.
Quit whining. YOU’RE the one who wanted to be president...
Good one. Dave does often say that he is not willing to send the Congress members or President a free copy of his book. Not because he is stingy, but because he knows they wouldn’t bother to read it!
;-)
Dear B,
The problem is, you’re not doing what you love. Have you thought about going back into Community Organizing, instead of Nation Dismantling? Based on your profile, I’d also say that it would be OK for you to declare moral bankruptcy.
Dave
Cut taxes, and close down about half your agencies! Your friends will be angry, but in your heart you’ll know you did right.
CSM recommended “Boundaries” awhile ago and it is a *great* read!
I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed it.
Have you thought of suicide before the Chinese come looking to collect? You could make it a public event. I’m sure there will be many people who will cheer you on.
Just added it to my library reserve list. Thanks!
What DO people do who don’t love to read? :)
What do people who don’t read do? Well, spend money of course.....
I love my Library. It’s one of the FEW things I don’t mind spending my tax dollars on!
I love this.
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