Old reliable, especially if it's a Smith and W. Excellent manstopper with the right ammo. A bit on the loud side, though, so prepare for some hearing loss of you have to use it.
Having said that, I'll once again extoll the value of the SIG 229 in .40. Not cheap, even used, but utterly reliable. I've put thousands of rounds of all sorts of ammo through mine and it's still as tight as the day I bought it. Accurate, too. And it's nice to have 13 rounds of high-performance .40 on tap in a nice, concealable package.
BUT, if you don't train regularly with them, haven't taken the time to determine a truly RELIABLE load for them (most people don't as you know), and practice failure drills until they're muscle memory, I think auto-loaders aren't the best choice for first time defense guns.
I take a lot of crap for that, but I'll stick with it.
A good .357 can chamber and fire both .38 spl and .357 magnum cartridges. If one fails to fire, just pull the trigger again and there's a 99.9% chance it'll go bang.
There are no magazines to lose, drop, or fumble with. And no one can argue that the .357 magnum lacks sufficient power.
There's a universe of small, concealable, well made 5 and 6 shot packages available today and they're quite common on the used pistol market.
As usual, just my two cents, everyones mileage will vary.
Good to see you about my friend. Take care.