Posted on 02/12/2009 11:00:07 AM PST by Marie
I have a friend with a 2 week old newborn who's starting to loose it. Hubby is in Iraq and the baby is waking up every two hours all night long.
I know there are strategies to help babies, even as little as this one, to start sleeping for 4 or 6 hours at night, but I don't know what they are. (I failed miserably at this with my own kids and my daughter woke up every two hours until she was 15 months old.)
I remember FReepers giving good advice on this issue a few years ago and hope some of you can help now.
Also, any recommended books out there?
Thanks!
Strategy 1: Bad parenting.
At two weeks, the cry for food is real. Starving a hungry baby is not what you want to do.
Strategy 2: Strategic feeding [my thoughts, based on my kids, your results may vary].
At two weeks, babies fall asleep before they are full for a variety of reasons. If you're up anyways for a feeding, you might as well make sure the baby is well fed but also ready to sleep by the time you're done.
(a) No lights. Feed with a night light at most. Lights should be a signal for play and wakefulness, while darkness should be a signal for quiet time.
(b) Diaper changes come after the baby slows down on drinking - it wakes the baby up, which leads to renewed interest in feeding and a fuller stomach - but do not wait for the baby to be completely full or it will be hard for the baby to sleep after the diaper change with no more food.
(c) Tickling is good too. Tickle the baby's feet and toes while feeding if the eyes start to close or drinking slows down too soon.
(d) No playing at night. Ever. Night feedings are not a social time. You play to your heart's content during the day, but night feedings are about basic needs. Don't teach the baby that waking you up out of boredom means uninterrupted quality time to look forward to.
(e) In any case, when the baby goes down for the night, so does Mommy. No cleaning. No TV. No chores. The mom's most important task is to sleep when the baby does, so that she can be the best possible mother when the baby is awake (not to mention so she stays sane). If baby wants to go down for the night at 6:00 pm, and the mom can't sleep, then the 6:00 feeding should be limited. Let the baby go down for an hour and wake up hungry, so that the mom can play with and then feed the baby just before she's ready for bed.
(f) I prefer to have the baby dazed with the eyes almost closed, but still just barely awake when put into the crib. That way the baby learns to make that final transition to sleep without a breast/bottle. Then it's easier to go back to sleep without mom if there was no real reason for waking up.
The baby will still wake up at night, and that should be at least once or twice a night for the next couple weeks, then perhaps sleeping for as much as six hours straight. If you do this right, then somewhere between one and two months, the baby will start to sleep for what you consider "through the night", until about age four months. At that point, the baby needs more calories to make it through the night than can come from a liquid diet. That's when I introduce rice cereal, as a before bed meal, and solid foods should solve the problem once more.
Sleep when your baby sleeps!
Read first. Post later. The new mom’s husband is in Iraq, presumably not vacationing.
My first son would only sleep when riding in his car bed in the back of my hotrod mustang!
There were times when we had to resort to climbing in the car and driving around all night until he went to sleep.
Now he has a hot mustang of his own that he races in SCCA :o)
Was a bit upset about the idea of attempts at forcing a two week old to sleep through the night, drove most of the rest clear out of my mind while I tried to express what a poor idea it was not to feed your two week old any time they express interest in feeding.
Thank you Dr. Laura!
If it’s colic, Mylicon drops.
Until they hit college.
Put a little rice cereal in the bottle before bed.
Having little ones can be tough. We had preemie twins that were very colicky, etc. My wife had the tougher time with it - but that first year we were both suicidal. I suppose not really - but it sure seemed like a good idea sometimes!
I often said - now I can see why some of these boyfriends, babysitters end up shaking a baby and hurting it. It can be very frustrating, and if you don’t have that love as a parent.... And a baby - if it is crying - something IS wrong. Oh there is a memory! My son would not stop crying, and he was usually a very quiet baby. We tried everything. Finally mom did a detailed look all around him. Found one of her long (light brown) hairs wrapped tight around his penis! He had a bath earlier in the day! Ouch!!
I forget when, but it is pretty old by the time they figure out that they can use crying to manipulate the parents.
As for our twins, when they got home from the hospital we had one portable crib up against the side of the bed, and one at the end of the bed. Made it so the mattresses were even with our matteress, and touching our bed so they could feel the bed move when we rolled around. To help them sleep we would “swaddle” them VERY tightly so that they were all bundled up so they couldn’t move their feet or hands. Just nice and secure and comforting to them.
When one was hungry to breastfeed, the other one was awakened to be fed too. (Glad we didn’t have triplets!). Once they were a little older they ended up sleeping in bed with us.
Of course now that they are older, It is a real treat when they come snuggle in bed with us!
Not until at least 3 months, and preferably close to 4 months. No solid food, no "extras" (not even 100 proof), until the baby's system is ready for those foods.
Make SURE she gets a good burp out of the baby after the feeding. Not all crying is from hunger. Air pressure in the tummy causes big time discomfort.
All three of my kids were incredibly fussy at night at that 2 to 3 week old period. This too shall pass! As many have said here, 2 week olds DO NOT sleep through the night. Being born and adjusting to life outside the womb is not easy.
She needs help in the day at least to get quality meals for herself and keep up on laundry. Lower expectations of picture-perfect lifestyle, if that’s a concern. Real life does not look like the movies and magazines.
My first three were never good sleepers. My youngest slept about 6 hours the first night home, and I woke in a panic thinking she had died in her sleep! She kept it up, though.
For your friend: 1- Breastfeed, 2- Watch your diet. Babies are meant to drink human breastmilk. Mine had problems when supplemented with formula and when I drank milk. Those two things won’t get your baby sleeping through the night but it will keep your baby less fussy and more likely to sleep longer. I also co-slept with my babies (you can get a side-sleeping bassinet or a positioner “nest” for the bed to keep them safe.) It helps to roll over and stick a breast in their mouth vs. waking up and getting them out of bed and nursing.
The first one is the hardest. I almost lost my mind when my oldest was a baby from lack of sleep.
Well I didn't want anyone to feel too bad about their little slackers. ;)
The baby probably won’t sleep through the night for a few more weeks.
If they are overly tired it’s even harder for them to get to sleep. At 2 to 3 weeks their little brains are making lots of connections and it’s just hard to sleep.
And it’s an individual thing. Two of our kids are good sound sleepers who were good for about five hours by the time they were a couple of months old.
Our 10-year-old still has sleep troubles. It’s just his way.
It will help if she sleeps when the baby sleeps, if possible.
Oh, one more thing: Swaddling. This does help some babies. And I second Mylicon like other posters recommended. This isn’t going to get the baby sleeping thru the night, but might give you 3 hours instead of 2 for sleeping. Really, with my 3rd, 2 was nice. My husband and I slept in shifts.
This is precisely why God invented couples, grandmothers, friends (really good friends) and church communities. When ours was new, I was the offishul changer of the diaper and fetcher of the kid. Mom lay there and I got the kid, changed the diaper, plugged the kid into mom, dozed, retrieved sated and dozing kid, changed again, went back to sleep for 2 hours. It was great training for when I had sheep.
Breast-feeding and co-sleeping makes it much easier to deal with two hour wakings. There are bassinets that attach to the side of the bed if she is not confident about not rolling on the baby.
hey new mamma...I still distinctly remember my little Rachel wrapping her little itty baby hand around my thumb as she sucked down her bottle of milk during the nightime feedings...an incredible memory...don’t rush things.
Be patient and enjoy it all..
How about a kind hearted friend to take a night shift so she can sleep :-)
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