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Goodness - I'm 51 - early fifties. My son's mother-in-law lives with them - it's been both good and bad - and they have small children, which is where most of the conflict has been (interference in their discipline).

My husband and I have actually had this discussion. He told me that if anything happens to him, I am NOT to live with our children. He wants me to get on with life and enjoy it. He also knows that children in their 30's need privacy.

My mom, 78, just moved here to our property and lives in a house about 75 yards away we had built for her. It's still a tiny bit of an issue.

You guys are young. Your probably the same age as my children - I know your mil feels lonely and devastated over the loss of her husband. Trying to clean out a house with too much stuff in it IS overwhelming - we did it for my mom and she saved everything, down to grocery bags and cool whip containers.

People have said 20-30 years more of life - I hope I live longer than that. Perhaps she is overwhelmed and depressed - get her to her doctor. Tell him what the plan is and get his advice.