LOL, just kidding.
Oh how wonderful of you! Your MIL is very blessed!
Don’t worry about her possessions, that is not the issue. The issue is that you need to set ground rules RIGHT NOW about how you and your wife will relate to each other and your mother in law. If you don’t, it will destroy your marriage.. happens all the time.
There are groups that will do estate sales to include handling the entire thing from preparing the items for sale to actually working the sale. I’m not familiar with the details but that maybe an option in which it may limit your having to be really involved.
Good luck as you move forward.
Ebay
Then do with it as you see fit.
It also depends on who has the nicer furniture. ;-)
They should be able to tell you if she has enough items to have a auction on premises, or whether her items may need to be combined with other estates at an auction house.
There will be some ad costs and commissions to deal with...but the great thing about auctions is that everything is gone at the end of the sale.
I will answer any specific questions that you have about auctions...fire away, if you'd like.
Whether you do it or not on a regular basis, do it the first week she is living there...
Have the boys over for a sports game. Drink beer and smoke cigars in the house... Then the next day, give in and say you’re sorry and you’ll never do it again. Then, the rest of the time will be easy...
When it's all done, stock it with beer, microwaveables, and a pool table, and then move on in...
To be perfectly blunt.. it’s very difficult to have elders living with you and your family. I did so as the daughte of 2 elderly parents at different times over a 10 year peiod.
It is massively stressful on the direct descendant, particularly depending on the medical situation. If I were you, and I am not, (obviously) do what my wonderful husband did. Be supportive, Don’t Complain, and Help in every way that you can.
Don’t worry about the “stuff”. If you think your time together is somewhat limited, put it in storage and dispose of it afterwards.
Think about your M in L watching you throw her life away before her very eyes!
That’s a tough one for her! Seniors are lovely people and appreciate the help.
Respect them and don’t make yourselves look as if you just want to get rid of everything.
Unless you need the financial help to care for her, of course!
That was not my experience, but if it’s yours, contact estate sales and don’t discuss it alot in front of Mom.
Do it on the side and try to negate the impact.
Believe me, I have Alot of seniors in my life and they mostly wish to be cared for lovingly and be respected as individuals.
Good luck
Over and out.
Does your wife have any siblings? If so, ask them if they want anything before you sell or toss out a single thing. When my grandmother passed away, all her stuff was dealt with by an aunt with no input from the rest of the family. I wanted the cups we always used at her house. They were just thrown away. So check with the rest of your wife’s family.
Some of the best ways to dispose of stuff you don't want is through burning, explosives, flung by catapult or simply throw it off the roof. Or you can put it on Ebay or donate it to the Salvation Army. But the previous methods are more fun.
First, you get a pat on the back from me for being willing to have your MIL move in!! It is a big decision, but I think it is so much better when family can be the caretakers. We took care of my mother and father and the only advise I have for you there is make a big point to make sure everyone has as much privacy as possible- that is a hot button issue- we all need our own space. You may have to reorganize your home to get private spots for everyone but it will be worth it.
Without any idea of what kind of things you will need to get rid of it is hard to give advice- but there are companies that hold estate sales and they will come in and do the whole nine yards. Just be sure you go through her things very carefully before contacting them so that family treasures and heirlooms aren’t overlooked. I have had to get rid of possessions several times now for elderly family members and the thing is the more labor you are willing to do; the more you will make on the sales. If you are willing to have garage sales and sell some things on ebay then you can do better. Sometimes though it is just a pain and easier to have an estate sale and be done with it. I have done it both ways. If she has antiques or art- things that might have real value get them appraised and find professionals to help you with them. Just be realistic about what things are really worth- often it is much less than you think- even for nice things.
Hmmm.
Some personal issues regarding MIL is what you seem to have alluded to.
Then in your post “don’t worry about costs to you”.
And “getting rid of her possesions”.
First if you did not mean to come across rather self centered and doing her a favor ish ya should clear that up.
JMO
Also have you noticed that mainstream and or libs who post here under the guise of being a Conservate?
Better go with the well known old timers on the advice mode.
Again JMO
LOL, just kidding.
Hey, it made me pull in. I thought maybe we had a Penthouse Forum on the Free Republic
That was just me being a smart-aleck. Bless you for protecting our country and helping your Mother in Law. Set up an Ebay account and one on Craigslist. You will also want a Paypal account. Separate the wheat from the chaff.
It's going to be your MIL's call on what you can sell, donate or throw away. Respect her wishes. No matter how stupid or tacky an item might seem to you, it might have a great story behind it. If you're really lucky, she just might share that story with you.
Ray, until you mentioned that your MIL was in her early 50s, I had a different bit of advice to give you.
If her home was owned(i.e. no or little mortgage balance left, since her husband evidently was much older than her), then I would suggest that the home be sold, and the extraneous possessions be sold off.
The essential possessions your MIL would need for her own apartment should be put in storage for now until the situation shakes out a bit.
She is too young to live with you and your wife on a permenant basis. My MIL lives with me, but that happened when my kids were grown and on their own, with an occasion short-term return to the nest. You would be in your 30s and maybe with kids.
Once you have sold off the house and the unneeded stuff, MIL needs to go into an apartment of her own. She will live another 30 years or so, and for the next 20-25 she should be able to manage to live on her own. This has to be viewed as a temporary arrangement, living with you, and she needs to be prepared to get on with the next chapter of her life.
There is potential here to wreck your homelife and marriage, unless you have sufficient physical separation of living quarters in the house. You cannot underestimate the lack of privacy that this arrangement can produce. That is why I would counsel you to make this, from the get-go, a transitional arrangement.
Being a man and a military type, you will want to “fix” the situation for your MIL. A different approach is needed—your MIL must take part in these decisons and in the work, as this is her future she must prepare for, not yours.
Please review this thread with your wife, as open communication right now is extemely important between you too right now. There will be pluses and minuses to any of these lifestyle changes, but since your MIl is so young, you need to get her on her own path.
My own story is different. My MIL was widowed at 48, 30 years ago. My wife and I helped her transition into her new life, but kept her in her house and she returned back to work. There was still a teenager in her home to raise.
Fourteen years later, we had moved and the old house was becoming a burden, so we helped her move into our town into a new townhouse, where she lived the next 12 years. After that, she no longer wanted to live on her own, so we moved her into our home. When we oved to another stae 2 years ago she came with us. She’s sweet and respects our privacy, and always helps around the house.
But she did not move in with us until her mid 70s. Big difference with your MIL being in her early 50s. Your MIL will have the possibility of remarrying ahead of her in the next 20 years.
So, my advice would be to help but not to permanaently let your MIL move in. She is just too young, and absent a serious health condition, she needs to get back on her path in life. Make her a part of all the decisions because after all this is her life. Don’t jump in and “fix” it because that will lead to resentments later on.
Good luck to you and your wife.
Ok, over 50 posts and most have been nice....so here comes the rat.....
Golf,
Fishing,
Landscaping,
Workshop,
etc.....