Fairness, Idealism, and Other Atrocities (best commencement speech ever)

Los Angelas Times ^ | 5-4-2008 | P.J. O'Rourke

[DesScorp]

Well, here you are at your college graduation. And I know what you're thinking: "Gimme the sheepskin and get me outta here!" But not so fast. First you have to listen to a commencement speech.

Don't moan. I'm not going to "pass the wisdom of one generation down to the next." I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom.

We were the moron generation. We were the generation that believed we could stop the Vietnam War by growing our hair long and dressing like circus clowns. We believed drugs would change everything -- which they did, for John Belushi. We believed in free love. Yes, the love was free, but we paid a high price for the sex.

My generation spoiled everything for you. It has always been the special prerogative of young people to look and act weird and shock grown-ups. But my generation exhausted the Earth's resources of the weird. Weird clothes -- we wore them. Weird beards -- we grew them. Weird words and phrases -- we said them. So, when it came your turn to be original and look and act weird, all you had left was to tattoo your faces and pierce your tongues. Ouch. That must have hurt. I apologize.

So now, it's my job to give you advice. But I'm thinking: You're finishing 16 years of education, and you've heard all the conventional good advice you can stand. So, let me offer some relief:

[DesScorp]

Read the whole thing... the best advice any grad would ever get! P.J. is the man!

[celticfreedom]

Absolutely wonderful!! Thanks for the smiles!!!!

[incredulous joe]

That is very good.

I feel almost certain that this address has never been given, otherwise O’Rourke would have been stoned. And I mean this in the “Biblical sense” not the “moron generation’s sense”.

[indcons]

Great post...PJ is an excellent writer.

[DesScorp]

PJ is outstanding... love his books. And every grad should actually get this speech. It should be required.