Posted on 11/24/2007 10:18:49 AM PST by EveningStar
A man was beaten by his fiance and in-laws and relieved of his belongings in India after they found out he was bald and wearing a wig, it was alleged yesterday...
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
Maybe he had it coming to him.
What a bitch!
He’s only bald because his last fiance snatched him that way.
He better quit while he’s ahead.
Cultural elitist!
Good thing his sin was only wearing a wig, and not a codpiece.
Damn that false advertising.
I’M SIMPLY GROWING TALLER THAN MY HAIR
I saw a show one night with Arlo Guthrie & Pete Seeger
And I couldn’t help but notice as I sat there in the round
The hair on Arlo Guthries head was filling up the first two rows
While Pete’s was hardly nowhere to be found
And then Arlo was explaining that a hair was an idea
How his tussled tufts where things that he’d thought of long ago
So Pete says “Arlo tell me where that leaves a guy like me?”
Arlo smiled as if to say he didn’t know
Well now natures got a funny way of dealing out her favors
Though I’m somewhere over 30 I won’t say exactly where
I’ve noticed certain thinning, though it’s only just beginning
I’ve a theory of what’s going on up there
It isn’t quite a question of genetics or of diet
And it’s not a lack of wholesome habits, cleanliness or care
It’s not from too much stress or strain or lack of peace and quiet
I’m just simply growing taller than my hair
I’m simply growing taller than my hair
I’m simply growing taller than my hair
Well it worked for Eisenhower, Isaac Hayes and Fred Astaire
So I’m simply growing taller than my hair
Well a baby’s born with peachy fuzz so faint you hardly see it
But the fact is that the follicles are up there all the while
And as baby grows so does the hair but just a little higher
Forming rows and layers and waves and curls and piles
Then at the dinner table the parents tell their kids to sit up straight
I’m convinced this has contributed to heads becoming bare
Had I only slumped a little more thru out my wonder years
Then I’d not be growing taller than my hair
I’m simply growing taller than my hair
I’m simply growing taller than my hair
Well it worked for Michael Jordan and Karem Abdul Jabear
So I’m simply growing taller than my hair
Well I called up my dad and I said, “Irving”
“Is this the way that it’s gotta be?”
He said, “Don’t worry if your hair-line is swirling son,
I met your mother when it happened to me”
So friends with shiny tops take heart there’s hope on the horizon
There are wigs, toupees, transplants, drugs, and pills
All these medical advances might be wise to keep your eyes on
If you’re overly concerned with furry frills
But for those of you whose self-esteem’s not measured in hispidity (look it up)
Just remember as you say your evening payers
God only made a handful of divinely perfect heads
And all the rest got covered up with hair
I’m just growing taller than my hair
I’m just growing taller than my hair
Well it worked for Mr. Clean and Mr. “T”, and Peter Yarrow
So I’m simply growing taller than my hair-Oh
If someone’s mouth starts joggin’
About that spot upon your noggin’
(Probably not worth having a falling out over I don’t think)
I say I’m simply growing taller than my hair
The title of the story is misleading.
He wasn’t beaten for being bald.
He WAS beaten for wearing a WIG!
Which is punishable by death in some of the finer fashion circles.
From the “Did You Know” Department:
Comb-overs have been patented since 1974 in the USA
USPTO | Nov 17, 2007 | unknown
Posted on 11/17/2007 9:11:44 AM EST by Daffynition
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1927150/posts
Where are bears when you need ‘em?
< /obscure Biblical joke>
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.