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Letter to John Kerry from troops in Irak (vanity)

Posted on 11/06/2006 7:24:17 PM PST by stockstrader

SENATOR JOHN KERRY
304 RUSSELL
SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510

DEAR SENATOR KERRY:

WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING DUMB.

WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.

1.) WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?

2.) DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?

3.) WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A PURPLE HEART?

4.) DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?

5.) ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?

6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THE JOKES COMING.

JUST A DUMB G.I.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
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Forwarded from a friend!!
1 posted on 11/06/2006 7:24:19 PM PST by stockstrader
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To: stockstrader

I'm laughing out loud at this...must email this to a few people...lmao


2 posted on 11/06/2006 7:25:47 PM PST by mystery-ak (My Son, My Soldier, My Hero........God Speed Jonathan......)
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To: stockstrader

Bump!


3 posted on 11/06/2006 7:26:03 PM PST by Jet Jaguar (Who would the terrorists vote for?)
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To: stockstrader

Jon Carry's campaign slogan was...... Halp is one teh way!


4 posted on 11/06/2006 7:26:03 PM PST by cripplecreek (If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?)
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To: stockstrader

Hopefully that b*stard will never live this down.


5 posted on 11/06/2006 7:27:13 PM PST by IslandJeff (Hunter/Cheney '08)
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To: stockstrader

No way this is real, too many words are spelled correctly.


6 posted on 11/06/2006 7:28:26 PM PST by Jean S
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To: stockstrader

Pretty good. Is that spelling in the title intentional?


7 posted on 11/06/2006 7:30:00 PM PST by Clinging Bitterly (Oregon - a pro-militia and firearms state that looks just like Afghanistan .)
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To: stockstrader

Hee hee. I have emailing that one too.


8 posted on 11/06/2006 7:30:02 PM PST by I got the rope
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To: stockstrader

LOL


9 posted on 11/06/2006 7:30:10 PM PST by GOPJ (The MSM is so busy kissing democrat butt they ignore truth. Come up for air guys.)
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To: stockstrader

THAT IS AWESOME!

Hey Kerry: If you do not have class,

You cannot buy it.

You cannot marry into it.

You cannot get it from politics

You cannot get it from Yale or Harvard.

You cannot get it by serving in the military, especially from an abbreviated and dishonorable service.

You cannot get it by learning a foreign language.

You cannot get it by getting a $500 haircut.

You cannot get it by buying a tailored suit.

You cannot get it by riding a bike.

You cannot get it by snowboarding.

You cannot get it by verbally abusing a Secret Service agent who would put his life on the line to save your sorry ass.

You cannot get it by throwing a football or kicking a soccer ball.

You cannot get it by donning hunting gear and "gettin yerself a hunting license".

You cannot get it by holding up dead geese.

You cannot get it by painting your face orange.

You cannot get it by running for President.

You won't get it hanging around with the Kennedys.

You cannot get it by drinking wine or eating brie.

You most definitely cannot get it by ingratiating yourself with the French.

You either have class. Or you don't.

You don't.


10 posted on 11/06/2006 7:31:24 PM PST by rlmorel (The US Media...Where you get Million Dollar Words From people with a Ten Cent Fart for a brain.)
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To: stockstrader



Free bumper stickers for all!!
11 posted on 11/06/2006 7:32:35 PM PST by RandallFlagg (Roll your own cigarettes! You'll save $$$ and smoke less!(Magnetic bumper stickers-click my name)
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To: JeanS

LMAO!!!


12 posted on 11/06/2006 7:34:40 PM PST by stockstrader (“Where government advances–and it advances RELENTLESSLY-freedom is imperiled”-Janice Rogers Brown)
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To: RandallFlagg

Is there really bumber stickers...I would love to send one to my son in Irak......he may not be able to read it, but he could look at the pretty colors.


13 posted on 11/06/2006 7:37:00 PM PST by mystery-ak (My Son, My Soldier, My Hero........God Speed Jonathan......)
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To: RandallFlagg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsjXCVJaElM


14 posted on 11/06/2006 7:41:24 PM PST by bitt ("And an angel still rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm.")
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To: RandallFlagg
LOL

"IT'S SO EASY, AN AMERICAN SOLDIER FIGHTING IN IRAQ CAN DO IT"!
--with all due respects to GEICO

"Seriously, we apologize, we didn't know you guys were still around"!

Care for any 'mango salsa'?

15 posted on 11/06/2006 7:42:45 PM PST by stockstrader (“Where government advances–and it advances RELENTLESSLY-freedom is imperiled”-Janice Rogers Brown)
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To: mystery-ak

LOL!


16 posted on 11/06/2006 7:43:05 PM PST by stockstrader (“Where government advances–and it advances RELENTLESSLY-freedom is imperiled”-Janice Rogers Brown)
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To: mystery-ak

I made every one of them. Click on my name and learn how to print them up at home. It's really easy.


17 posted on 11/06/2006 7:44:33 PM PST by RandallFlagg (Roll your own cigarettes! You'll save $$$ and smoke less!(Magnetic bumper stickers-click my name)
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To: potlatch; ntnychik; Smartass; Boazo; Alamo-Girl; PhilDragoo; The Spirit Of Allegiance; JLO; ...

LT ping


18 posted on 11/06/2006 7:45:43 PM PST by bitt ("And an angel still rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm.")
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To: mystery-ak

***I would love to send one to my son in Irak......he may not be able to read it, but he could look at the pretty colors.****


ROFLOL, I just snorted my diet coke on the screen. LOL


19 posted on 11/06/2006 7:45:48 PM PST by baseballmom
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To: RandallFlagg

Thanks...I'll pass this on to my hubby...


20 posted on 11/06/2006 7:47:18 PM PST by mystery-ak (My Son, My Soldier, My Hero........God Speed Jonathan......)
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