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Word For The Day, Friday, September 16, 2005 - A Half-baked Tribute To Miss Xenalyte

Posted on 09/16/2005 1:49:00 AM PDT by Argh

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To: xsmommy; secret garden; All
Our Homeowners Association sends out a newsletter quarterly - this is supposedly from a professional management company.

The front page sported an article about kids returning to school. These are a few of the "professionally written" comments:

Your child should know their full name, address and phone number.

They should know how to deal with situations that may arise while he is alone.

He should know to not open the door if someone knocks in any situation. He should not open the door even if they say they are a policeman.

Make sure he knows how to call 911 and know how to get out of the house in case of a fire.

Another topic regarded deed restrictions - I loved this tidbit: Please remember that out (not a typo on my part) community is viewed as a whole entity and residents that choose to continue to violate these rules not only cause problems between neighbors but in essence devalue the other homes in the area due to a lack of negligence on their part as a resident in the community.

41 posted on 09/16/2005 7:25:53 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Prayers for healing and relief from pain for Cowboy...........)
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To: Xenalyte
How do you feel about venison at your party?
42 posted on 09/16/2005 7:30:50 AM PDT by Dutchgirl ("We recognize your right to be an ignorant moron," -Just A. Nobody.)
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To: Dutchgirl

open and obvious....


43 posted on 09/16/2005 7:32:58 AM PDT by xsmommy
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
well how would your HO association deal with a libertarian homeowner (obviously) throwing this sort of hissy fit???
44 posted on 09/16/2005 7:35:15 AM PDT by xsmommy
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To: Xenalyte

Congrats!


45 posted on 09/16/2005 7:37:40 AM PDT by patton ("Hard Drive Cemetary" - forthcoming best seller)
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To: xsmommy

Haha - I've got some chinch bugs I could loan them - they take care of a yard pretty quickly


46 posted on 09/16/2005 7:39:06 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Prayers for healing and relief from pain for Cowboy...........)
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To: Dutchgirl; Hegewisch Dupa; VRWCmember; WhyisaTexasgirlinPA; hobbes1; TheGrimReaper
since i am feeling informative this AM, let me share with you the results of the new CDC sex survey:

Some more highlights from the study:

Ninety-seven percent of men and 98 percent of women aged 25 to 44 have had vaginal intercourse.

Ninety percent of men and 88 percent of women reported having had oral sex with an opposite-sex partner.

Forty percent of men and 35 percent of women have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner.

Men aged 30 to 44 reported an average of six to eight female sexual partners so far while women reported about four. This is similar to studies conducted in the early 1990s.

About 6.5 percent of men aged 25 to 44 have had oral or anal sex with another man. Three percent of males 15 to 44 years have had oral or anal sex with another male in the last 12 months (1.8 million people).

Eleven percent of women aged 25 to 44 reported having had a sexual experience with another woman. Four percent of females reporting having a sexual experience with another female in the last 12 months.

Six percent of males and 11 percent of females had had same-sex contact in their lifetimes. While this percentage remains relatively unchanged for men since the early 1990s, the proportion of women has soared unexpectedly from 4 or 5 percent to 14 percent among women aged 18 to 29. "We may want to consider the possibility that women are trying to reduce their risk of STDs," Mosher said.

Ninety percent of men aged 18 to 44 thought of themselves as heterosexual, 2.3 percent as homosexual. 1.8 percent bisexual and 3.9 percent "something else" while the rest did not answer the question. The numbers were almost exactly the same for women.

Twenty-nine percent of men who had ever had sexual contact with another man were tested for HIV in the past year compared with 14 percent of men with no same-sex contact.

Seventeen percent of men who had ever had sexual contact with another male had been treated for a non-HIV STD, compared with 7 percent of those who had never had male-on-male sexual contact.

Among men 15 to 44 who had at least one sexual partner in the last 12 months, 39 percent used a condom at their most recent encounter. The figure was 65 percent among never-married males and 24 percent among married males.

Ninety-one percent of males who had ever had sexual contact with another male used a condom the last time they had sex, compared with 36 percent of men who never had sex with another male.

47 posted on 09/16/2005 7:42:16 AM PDT by xsmommy
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To: Conspiracy Guy
a table dance We've got that covered...
48 posted on 09/16/2005 7:42:58 AM PDT by Dutchgirl ("We recognize your right to be an ignorant moron," -Just A. Nobody.)
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To: Dutchgirl

you rock! that is perfect!!


49 posted on 09/16/2005 7:46:37 AM PDT by xsmommy
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To: xsmommy

So that means that at least 3% of queer men got lucky with a woman? Ick


50 posted on 09/16/2005 7:47:29 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Prayers for healing and relief from pain for Cowboy...........)
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA

well my bold text puts the lie to the boys in this class and their fantasies of sappho action. 11% is quite a low percentage of HETERO women having girl on girl. david spade lies.


51 posted on 09/16/2005 7:49:11 AM PDT by xsmommy
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To: Dutchgirl

Good. I wasn't sure who was supposed to lead, me or the table.


52 posted on 09/16/2005 7:49:48 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Ponce de Leon is coming here to look for the fountain of dumb. DC is his first stop.)
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To: xsmommy

Most of the guys in here would never have even read the highlighted portion because once they got to the gay sex stuff they would have quit reading............


53 posted on 09/16/2005 7:52:06 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Prayers for healing and relief from pain for Cowboy...........)
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To: Xenalyte

Congrats!


54 posted on 09/16/2005 8:12:18 AM PDT by Jaded (Hell sometimes has fluorescent lighting and a trumpet. Whadda you mean sometimes?)
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To: xsmommy; Xenalyte
That reminds me...party hats for everyone!!


55 posted on 09/16/2005 8:15:03 AM PDT by Dutchgirl ("We recognize your right to be an ignorant moron," -Just A. Nobody.)
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To: Xenalyte

Congrats Xena.


56 posted on 09/16/2005 8:22:36 AM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: xsmommy
Seen this?
57 posted on 09/16/2005 8:24:27 AM PDT by hobbes1 (Hobbes1TheOmniscient® "I know everything so you dont have to...." ;)
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To: Dutchgirl; Xenalyte; xsmommy; Laura Earl; hobbes1; WhyisaTexasgirlinPA; Gabz; Slip18; Texan5; ...
So that would make this your bachelorette party? Hmmm.

You gals need to throw a lingerie shower for xena here in class today. And all gifts MUST be modeled.

58 posted on 09/16/2005 8:24:36 AM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: VRWCmember

Are you Volunteering ????


J/K!!!!!!!


59 posted on 09/16/2005 8:25:59 AM PDT by hobbes1 (Hobbes1TheOmniscient® "I know everything so you dont have to...." ;)
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To: hobbes1

no, but that's funny.


60 posted on 09/16/2005 8:25:59 AM PDT by xsmommy
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