[DameAutour]

many of these friendships are rooted in a fundamentally adversarial attitude toward men

..and toward other women.

This may well explain why I have had better friendships with men than I EVER had with women. EVER. I was talking to another woman today, and she was saying the same thing, she has only ever had one female friend, the rest have been men. From childhood I have NEVER understood all of the drama involved with females. I don't understand the game-playing. The superficiality. You can't be different or disagree without things getting personal.

Men are simpler. Not necessarily simplistic, just simpler. I can have a rousing debate with a male friend and later, yes, talk about hopes, dreams, goals, even emotions.

My problem as a 23 year old woman is that most of my friendships with men inevitably turn romantic some way or another. And if we're not going to start a romantic relationship and get married, then our friendship suffers. Most men who approach me probably do so because they're interested in a romantic relationship, and then it ends up becoming a friendship when they realize how cool I am, but that is never satisfactory for very long.

I've got to find a way to develop friendships with women in my real, offline life. But I just don't get them.

[Tobor]

I have known several women that I only wanted to be friends with.

I have discovered that there is no greater insult to a woman than that.

It's hopeless.

:)

[codyjacksmom]

I also have had mostly male friends my entire life. At 41, my best friends are still men...on-line and off. My husband still has a hard time with that, but I can't relate to most women. I don't like all those prissy, "let's talk about knitting or my latest flower arrangement". I want to get out and play sports, watch sports, work on a car, and just get dirty. I love to play...I'm just an adult size kid, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even my teenage daughters tell their friends how cool I am...or their friends just tell me. I did have one friend from high school that I stayed friends with into adulthood, but about 5 years ago, she told me that she wanted to "sleep" with me. I haven't talked to her since....and that sure didn't help my trust issues with women.

[Mr. Jeeves]

Most men who approach me probably do so because they're interested in a romantic relationship...

Correct.

...and then it ends up becoming a friendship when they realize how cool I am...

They haven't given up on the romance, they are hoping you will change your mind, and playing "friend" to stay in the game.

...but that is never satisfactory for very long.

To paraphrase some good advice to men I heard a while back:

"Making friends with single women is like playing with your food. It's rude, unsatisfying, and eventually someone will come along and eat it right off of your plate, leaving you disappointed...and hungry." ;)