Posted on 12/11/2004 5:37:20 AM PST by RobFromGa
Have I ever been in charge of my life? When my answer was yes, then I have to look at where being in charge got me. (15 years of heavy drinking) If no, that was probably the times I was drunk. That's certainly not being in charge.
I always have thought that we were given free will to do what we wish with our lives and that we have responsibility for our actions.
True. We are given choices. What had I chosen for 15 years? I chose to drink. God didn't make me drink - I did that all on my own. God's will is that I, as an alcoholic, stay sober. Until I realized that I could not understand that I was surrendering to the idea that God didn't want me to drink. I wanted to!
Now I know that surrendering to God's will is accepting his choice that I don't drink.
That is the core of my personal philosophy and my Conservative polical viewpoint comes straight from this philosphy.
Once again, I had to look where my personal philosophy got me. Where did yours get you?
Surrender is not capitulation. It is accepting God's will (that you not drink and screw up your life every day) for you. It is a concept that I never thought of before AA. It took me awhile to realize this. It doesn't come overnight.
Congratulations! I pray for your continued success.
LOL!
I don't know how many people I've heard say that in meetings!
They were always glad the door swung both ways.
So, to most people, starting to feel drunk is like the way I feel if I take an antihistimine that makes me feel drowsy. Kind of muffled, and fuzzy, and not quite myself. OTOH, when I feel that way from Alcohol, I'm just getting revved up.
Course there are plenty of people that like to get drunk and be somebody that don't turn out to be alcoholics.
Bump.
I know I was certainly powerless over alcohol. No matter how bad the drinking got I always went back. No matter how many times I tried to stop/quit/slow down/not drink for a week/ not drink today I always went back. It wasn't until I accepted the idea that I was powerless over alcohol could I begin to let go of it. Because of alcohol's control over me I could not see the steps I needed to break that control.
It's kind of like quicksand. The more you struggle the more you sink. When you let yourself relax you can stop sinking and gradually come out of it.
It is a humbling concept. One that takes some time to accept. When I did, though, the sense of freedom was immeasurable. I felt as though reborn - with all the capabilities of a child. I had to learn to live without alcohol. I had to learn to deal with others without alcohol. I had to learn to love without alcohol. Not easy tasks but one made all the more easy with help from those that have been there and more often than not, knew what I was going to do and say before I did.
From your previous post.
THat is why this year I vowed to not drink untill after new years. I made this decision about a week ago. It seems quite a coincidence that I would see your post just now.
Only you can judge if you are an alcoholic. You may not be. If, however, you identify with 'robfromga' and others on this thread who have admitted to being alcoholics, than it's time to pay attention.
God bless you and keep you safe during the holiday season.
Ray
Bump.
Do not do this alone. Seek help and be with someone who can help.
I can agree with this definition, as I stated before I believe that our spirit is a gift from God, and that we can either choose to build it up or tear it down.
The surrender that they talk about at AA in my area sounds more like giving up responsibility to God for our sobriety as something that is "out of our control". I reject that notion because I am in total control of whether I choose to poison myself, it is I who pours the drink and swallows it. God gives me that choice to make.
If surrender means to accept that God desires us to build ourselves up rather than destroy ourselves, then I can accept that definition. I have agreed with Him on this point and do not plan to ever drink again.
I know that if I allow myself to be in charge of moderating or controlling this substance, I will likely fail and it is not worth it. So I choose to remove all choice from myself, I am a non-drinker. I ask God to help me in carrying this out.
Another way that I look at it is that my license to drink alcohol has been revoked permanently due to reckless "driving". It was my own fault that I lost the privilege, not someone else.
It most certainly is not BS when you admit that your addiction has completely taken over your life. You actually DO get power when you admit your powerlessness.
bump
Sounds like the beginning of a great Christmas tune! (just kidding). I really appreciate your input, I am looking forward to learning more from all of you. RobfromGa
I believe that I am powerless to "control" (or moderate) my use of alcohol, but that I have total control over whether to let it in my body again. That is a big difference.
If you are able to control your use of alcohol to your satisfaction, then you are not an alcoholic by definition, as it is a self-diagnosed defect.
Joining many others to wish you success.
I always thought I could stop drinking whenever I wanted to, but I liked the slight burning of my tongue with the first sip, the cool feeling of it going down my throat, the smell and the taste, that's why I didn't want to quit, so I told myself.
Finally fed up with struggling by myself to quit and worried my kids would have to be pulling me out of a bar when I was eighty, I admitted to God I could not do this by myself and begged him to help me, HE DID!
Since I stopped almost 4 years ago, I've tried drinking twice and surprise, surprise, I can stand none of those things now.
My own sister thinks this way.After being on a binge for a week.Get this,She says if your thirsty drink water!!! I look back on that and laugh.Our own mother died from drinking and she thinks the worst thing you can say to an alcoholic is your powerless!
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