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Humorous fluffy self-important celebrity story du jour:

FADING pop footnote Justin Timberlake should consider hiring professional bodyguards for a change. One of the gargantuan goons he can't live without threatened to kill a photographer in Sydney, Australia, the other day. The girlish Timberlake was all scowls as he ignored fans while strolling through the city with alleged girlfriend Cameron Diaz, flanked by their two blubbery bodyguards, reports the Daily Telegraph. When they arrived at Harbour Bridge, one of the hysterical sides of beef shrieked at a shutterbug, "I'm not from this country. I will kill you if you get in my way!" (Page Six)

Cindy Adams reports:

Boston, next month, Democratic convention. Bill speaks opening day, Monday. Candidate Kerry speaks closing day, Thursday. There will be no Hillary. That's too much Clinton. Also, Kerryites know they don't have to have her. She's no past president, it ain't her state, she has no official convention role and they do not want her upstaging their man.

36 posted on 06/18/2004 6:13:58 AM PDT by mountaineer
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POLL: Do you think another administration would have handled the 9/11 attacks better? Which one?

One-third of those responding actually believe Clinton would have responded best. Right - he'd acted so decisively after all previous terrorist attacks! Speaking of the 'toon:

Bill Clinton used his favorite joke at NYU Wednesday night to explain why the right wing went after him. "There was a guy walking along the Grand Canyon and he slips," he said. "Falling to certain death, he grabbed a twig. Just as he was about to breathe a sigh of relief, the roots started to come out. He cried out, 'God, I've been a good man! Why me?' And a thunderous voice boomed, 'Son, there's just something about you I don't like.'"

The 42nd President spoke to a glittering crowd at NYU after The Week magazine's showing of his pal Harry Thomason's powerful new documentary, "The Hunting of the President." It's based on the book by Joe Conason and Gene Lyons about Kenneth Starr's investigation into Whitewater and Monicagate.

Clinton introduced Whitewater figure Susan McDougal, who went to prison for two years rather than cooperate with Starr, as "one of my heroes." In the film, McDougal recounts how male prisoners urinated on her, while guards stood by and did nothing. And worse. But this was Clinton's night. The ex-Chief Exec looked svelte and he called Starr a tool of "the perpetual right ... which seeks to consolidate power and wealth in their own hands."

"When the Berlin Wall fell, the perpetual right in America, which always needs an enemy, didn't have an enemy anymore. So I had to serve as the next best thing." [What was I saying the other day about paranoia?]

Still, Clinton was conciliatory. "I don't think we have to say they're bad people. We have to say we think we're right and they're wrong and here's why. It's a very different argument.

"I never had any money till I left the White House [Liar] and they were pretty mean to me, and then all of a sudden I became the most important person in the world to them once I got a little money."

Clinton, whose 950-page memoir "My Life" will hit bookstores Tuesday, was optimistic about the future. But he warned: "The election of 2000 was 50/50. Now, all the polls say our nominee for President has a 50% chance and is even ahead. ... You can't afford to let us make the wrong decision." Asked about John Kerry afterward, Clinton told us, "I think he's doing just fine." source

37 posted on 06/18/2004 6:21:08 AM PDT by mountaineer
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