Somali Fraud in America [Semi-Satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 November 2025 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Sympathy for the suffering that Somalis were enduring in their war-torn country in the 1990s led to the importation of thousands of them to the US. A huge number of them were relocated to Minnesota where they have since been able to elect Ilhan Omar to represent them in the US Congress. Others launched remarkably successful fraud schemes that have pilfered hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars.

Welfare dependency among the Minnesota Somalis is 40%. Remittances to Somalia have amounted to billions of dollars. The ISIS- affiliated Al-Shabaab terror group taxes these remittances to fund their army. More than 20 of the Minnesota Somalis have been recruited and joined these terrorists. Feeding, autism, housing, and 25 other Somali scams have bilked taxpayers since Tim Walz became governor in 2019.

A few fraudsters have been successfully prosecuted. One of them, Abdifatah Yusuf, ran Promise Health, a so-called home healthcare company out of a post office mailbox. He was found guilty by a jury. Jury foreman Ben Walfoort explained "it was not a difficult decision. The deliberation took probably four hours at most. Based on the evidence that was presented, we found his guilt was beyond a reasonable doubt."

However, presiding Judge Sarah West dismissed the guilty verdict, saying "while the evidence presented was sufficient to persuade the jury it was not enough to persuade me. I can conceive of other explanations for the disappearance of the $7 million in this case. It could've been simple incompetence. As an immigrant from a backward country, Mr. Yusuf cannot not be expected to understand our laws or the arcane intricacies of the double-entry accounting that provides a method of tracking where every dollar came from and where it goes. Rather than send him to prison I think he should get a break."

President Trump cited these frauds in his request to reconsider the special status granted to Somali refugees, saying "the American taxpayers shouldn't have to bear the burdens some of these people are inflicting on them. The opportunity for life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness that was granted to them has been abused. Some of them aren't obeying our laws and earning an honest living. We're going to look at what they have done and deport the ones who haven't been keeping up their half of the bargain."

Trump's proposal was denounced as "deranged" by Rep. Omar (D-Minn). "He doesn't respect the cultural differences between our two countries. It is racist to try to impose white values on brown people. All must be free to do what they think is right without being judged and punished except by a jury of one's peers, which in these fraud cases would be comprised of 12 Somalis."

In related news, in Denmark 62% of Somali men are convicted of a violent crime by the time they've reached the age of 30. This statistic was also condemned by Omar "as just another example of whites trying to impose their values on others. In Somalia a young man learns from a young age that he must fight to live. Is he supposed to just forget this because he lives in Denmark or some other white country?"

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TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: crime; denmark; foreigners; omar; satire; somalipirates; trump

[MacNaughton]

[John Semmens]

ping

[Vigilanteman]

It is worth recalling that the first Somalis imported were actual victims of the ruling Muslim gangs from the north. They were Christian and Animists from the south, blacker and more industrious than their northern counterparts.

The media featured stories of these "good boys" who would walk 2 or 3 or 4 miles to go to work one way in the cold. Then they started appointing the Omarite jagoffs in huge numbers.