Black Caucus Members Oppose CR [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 16 March 2025 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Members of the Congressional Black Caucus spoke out against the Continuing Resolution that would allow the government to stay open until September 2025.

Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass) asserted "we're facing a hostile government takeover and @SenateDems can do something about it. The Trump-Musk spending bill will make our constituents who are unable or unwilling to support themselves hungrier, sicker, and poorer. Listen to your constituents. Do not cede your leverage. Hold the line."

Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Tex) said "I stand by the NO vote on the blank check for Trump & Elon. I've got no explanation nor agreement with Senate Dems being complicit in Trump's Tyranny. Shutting down the government will stop his power grab."

Sen. Lisa Blunt Rochester (D-Del) said "Democrats got a dirty deal from Republicans. Voting NO is how we save our democracy by defunding Musk's budget axe."

Sen. Raphael Warnock (D-Ga) said "Republicans gave Democrats an ultimatum that would either do great damage or force the government to shut down. Both of those options are terrible. I cannot support a partisan bill that gives this president who is clearly engaged in an unprecedented power grab even more power to exact more damage as he chooses what he wants to fund and what he does not "

Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) complained "this Continuing Resolution gives Trump and Musk six months to do some pretty awful things. We've already seen they're willing to cut funding needed for vital purposes. It literally gives them a license to continue to destroy essential programs. There is so much bad stuff baked into this."

Sen. Angela Alsobrooks (D-Md) said "voting for the Continuing Resolution would be a direct contradiction to my mandate to fight for my constituents. It will allow for a continued witch hunt against our patriotic civil servants who tirelessly toil for the general welfare of Americans. We have a unique opportunity at this moment to pass a clean, bipartisan funding bill that would address some of these concerns and mistakes."

Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY), target of barbs from fellow Democrats "for capitulating to Hitler," defended his support of the Continuing Resolution as "the lesser of evils. Much as I hate giving those bastards six months to wreak havoc, the risk of having the government shutdown could be harmful to our key argument that bigger government is better government. Polls already show a super-majority of voters approve of what Trump and Musk have been doing. Six-months of a government shutdown without seeing the country fall apart could be a fatal blow to the future of the Democratic Party."

Hearing the wailing of the Democrats, Elon Musk wryly observed "what kind of a tyrant seeks to cut his budget, shrink the number of people he commands, and free citizens from excessive burdens and oppression?"

In related news, Trump's 2017 tax cuts are set to expire on December 31 of this year. A recent McLaughlin poll showed that 64% of voters support extending these tax cuts while only 21% oppose extending them. If the cuts are allowed to expire 73% of voters think jobs will be lost, prices will go up, and businesses will be closed.

[ImJustAnotherOkie]

Of course, they thought CR meant Completely Racist.

[BipolarBob]

Or Critical Reading.

[antidemoncrat]

I wonder if some Congressional Republicans wanted to form a Congressional White Caucus it would be considered RACIST?

[FlingWingFlyer]

I don’t know why anyone pays attention to the black cockeyes.

[falcon99]

I guess to a leftist idiot like Ayanna Pressley, someone who is elected who is not of her party and liking is a hostile government takeover. If the woman had a single brain cell, it would be lonesome.

[EinNYC]

And those dummies here in MD just elected Alsobrooks. I knew this would happen. She’s just another corrupt black piece of garbage, which Maryland seems to have an endless supply of.