Posted on 08/03/2023 12:29:13 PM PDT by DFG
U.S. — In a bold new attempt to win the 2024 election against Biden, candidate Mike Pence has decided to alienate all 80 million voters who voted for Donald Trump.
"It's about time someone had the courage to say it, so today I will say it: Trump is bad," said Pence to a raucous crowd of 12 seniors in the activity center of Shady Oaks Retirement Home. "If that hurts my chances with the tens of millions of people who voted for him, so be it. I am a stalwart man of integrity. Just look at my kind eyes and serious face."
Pence then looked directly into the camera with a look of integrity.
Sources within the Pence campaign confirmed Pence plans to make up the loss in support by courting Biden voters and convincing them he is not a bigoted Nazi fascist homophobe. "We have faith in the virtuous Americans who voted for Biden," said a campaign spokesman. "They will certainly see things our way once Pence has had the chance to talk to them in his comforting evangelical Dad voice and make them see reason."
Pence also expressed confidence that he would be able to make inroads with the 150 million people who didn't vote in the previous elections, such as babies, illegal immigrants, and Chinese spies posing as university professors.
"Trump is an existential threat to democracy and an evil person," continued Pence. "I know this from my 4 years of loyally and unquestioningly serving him for 4 years. Vote for me!"
At publishing time approximately 100% of Biden voters polled still thought Pence was a bigoted Nazi fascist homophobe.
Mike Pence is MAKING HIMSELF INTO A JOKE… pathetic!
If we are wise, we won’t get PENCED again.
He should disappear in the shame he deserves.
Pence never liked Donald J Trump but he accepted the office of Vice President?
How can he ever be trusted again?
I am one of the 80 million and if all feel as I do, Pence will be shamed and forgotten.
I’ll wager those FISA warrants the Democrats ran against the Trump 2016 campaign pulled in some juicy info that Pence would rather stay secret.
There’s a price to pay pay for keeping secrets secret.
Thus, Pence is compelled to making political statements that ruin his credibility.
He basically has no choice. Everyone knows he has no testicular fortitude and he refused to protest the contaminated and corrupt electoral ratification (even though there were democrats who protested it in 2016 and no one raised an eyebrow about it). He can’t flip-flop and act like it was a mistake because he would lose the few voters he could get anyway.
Why he doesn’t just slink away as gracefully as possible and be forgotten is a mystery. He is probably plugged into the DC social bubble who are more than happy to prop him up and blow smoke up his butt (and who will also turn on him like jackals if he ever got the republican nomination, which he has no chance in hell of doing).
SO presumably, like everything else in DC, this is all about trying to stay relevant so you can take a piece of the corruption money pie.
BREAKING: Pence now Implicitly Admits he had the Power to reject Fraudulent Votes on J6
DC_Draino on Twitter X ^ | August 2, 2023 | DC_Draino
Just like Christie, this schmuck is merely killing time while he awaits his payoff from the deep-state
He has 2 votes locked up, him and his wife.
Why not? The entire Beltway is on task with that. Join them or die poor and with your pets.
I should start a music career sing and have a band to back me up the group could be called “Judas Pence”.
The UniParty...of which Mr Pence is a card carrying founding member, represents that minority of Americans who have hijacked the legislative and executive branches of Federal, State and local governments and have bent the powers therein to themselves and their benefit at the expense of Flyover Country.
That minority is unfortunately about to find out what the term “a%^-whoopin’ “ really does mean...as they long ago have lost their eyes and ears about who and what America is
😂😂
IMHO, they must have a really nasty blackmail file on Pence for him to look this crazy stupid.
You can count on the Bee to give straight up factual reporting. I guess they had to change. Parody is a tough business when you have to compete with the “reality show” in the swamp.
The look on his face when he stats campaigning and no one shows up is gonna be epic.
“said Pence to a raucous crowd of 12 seniors”
That’s more than likely NOT satire and more of a prediction.....and an accurate one at that.
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