Posted on 09/06/2021 12:03:33 PM PDT by rebuildus
I visited an old friend over the weekend. We had not talked for far too long a time. He gave me some sound advice–it was about me.
We were discussing someone who was a mutual friend, and who’d wronged me. Even though I knew it was wrong to carry resentment towards my former friend for what he had done, nevertheless, I have been unable to completely shake that resentment.
In a nutshell, my friend told me something I thought I already knew–that even if my former friend was 100% wrong–I AM WRONG FOR CONTINUING TO RESENT HIM FOR IT!
That statement took away my excuses for acting in a childish way while I walk in an adult’s body.
I felt like I had been backed into a corner, and exposed.
And funny, accepting my friend’s statement caused a freeing, and yet something else inside me was not happy about it at all. I sat with that last night until I went to bed.
There is still something inside fighting this truth, but yet in a way, it feels like the lance has already pierced the dragon.
All that’s left now is allowing the truth to settle inside.
My sin is judging.
Sure, I can look back and see where this started. My mother was a judger, and my father–though certainly not a bad man, was someone who–like many in his Great Depression / World War II generation–struggled with internal conflicts routinely drowned with unfiltered cigarettes, alcohol, bad food, and the trivial news of the day.
The judger needs the failure (real or perceived) of the “bad” actor to feed the judgment!
When I’m at the gym, I notice something inside me judging everyone I see–whether it’s the lifters who curse like sailors, or someone who acts “too strong” or “too weak.” It doesn’t matter–they can’t win. The judger needs its food!
Traumas and Judging While talking with my old friend this weekend, we began to explore how myself and others that we know have been hypnotized by hypnotic techniques presented as “meditation.” That hypnotic state leads to judgment–because in this state, we operate out of a type of automated response, instead of reason.
But my traumas–and by extension, my judgment–indeed started long ago. Hating the judger (mother), or hating the “bad actor” (father)–awakened that original trauma / hypnotic condition, which converted me into being a judger.
Trauma / judgment caused me to judge others as either worse or better than me. In those I judged to be somehow “better” than me, it caused me to become a follower, which set me up to be used by people who placed themselves (and whom I placed) in a “leader” position.
The Way Out It’s a tangled web we become part of, but the only way I have found to become freer (with the hope of complete freedom) is to be willing to acknowledge the truth when it presents itself. I still believe in meditation–but today I practice a simple form of stillness that is almost formless, and thus kept close to reality and hard to screw up! I deal with this topic in more depth in THIS POST.
My old friend helped this process along this weekend, and I am eternally grateful.
As I slowly accept responsibility for MY actions, the leader inside is emerging, and the follower fades. This is something I have always wanted, and it is heartening to see it come forward.
It starts with admitting we are wrong for judging others, even if they have done wrong to us. This is not a new concept. It is the basis of Christianity, and many others who don’t consider themselves Christians subscribe to it too.
Letting go of our pride, and asking God to help us do this, is the ticket back to LIFE. I see my life returning. I hope you maintain or regain your life too.
Patrick Rooney is the Founder of OldSchoolUs.com. He communicates clearly and fearlessly during perilous times about natural health, success, and freedom. To reach Patrick, email him at info@oldschoolus.com.
BipolarBob has a sense of humor..
Humblegunner... not so much.
Must be Multiple Personality Disorder with Bipolar Disorder...
Hmmmm... something struck a nerve here. I’d go to God and repent if I were you, HG. I know you’d be a happier person.
“Several times Jesus stated, “I have not come to judge, but to save.””
That’s right, tired&retired! But so many miss it.
SOP.
“I can more easily admit when you’re wrong.”
Yup—we’re all built the same in that way, Bob
“Bkmk”
I hope you come back to it soon, sauropod. I’d like to hear your feedback.
I said that to an old priest at the end of a funeral service when he denied the son communion at his mothers funeral service..
Nope, it’s a fake banned page.
You can tell because his name and sign up date are still visible.
BiPolar does mean two separate personalities. Sort of like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But I've never caught me being humblegunner if that's what you mean.
If we judge, we are to do so righteously and not with animosity and bitterness. Mark Twain said “I never met a man I didn’t like” which meant he gave everyone a chance to prove themselves. It is too easy to classify someone by their dress, ethnicity, physicality and/or economic status.
Judging others is not the problem, imo.
The bible demands we judge others, their actions. Its the way we determine when we’ve been wronged, when people are doing bad thigngs to either us or others.
The problem of judging is when you judge different people by different standards. In other words, double standards. Or call it hypocritical judging.
Thats what we are warned about. If you’re condemning someone for the same stuff you’re doing, that’s a problem.
Yes, I am wrong about a lot of things.
Right now, I am having a hard time forgiving woke members of our family who are judging me.
Of course, they haven’t asked for forgiveness....
Is it wrong of me to avoid them?
“Yes, I am wrong about a lot of things.
Right now, I am having a hard time forgiving woke members of our family who are judging me.
Of course, they haven’t asked for forgiveness....
Is it wrong of me to avoid them?”
My advice: forgive them, then you’ll know if you should avoid them or not.
“Judging others is not the problem, imo....”
Actually it is, otherwise Jesus would not have said, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” SEEING what is wrong is fine, or course, otherwise we’d have to blind ourselves. But resenting / hating, etc. them for being wrong is wrong.
“BiPolar does mean two separate personalities. Sort of like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But I’ve never caught me being humblegunner if that’s what you mean.”
And thank God for that!
“John 7:24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”
Right. But the problem here is with the word “judge”—it actually has a couple of meanings, one being to correctly see, and the other meaning to hate what you see.
I notice on this thread and others that the two meanings often become conflated or confused.
“I said that to an old priest at the end of a funeral service when he denied the son communion at his mothers funeral service..”
Oh... Now that could tick someone off. I wonder what the priest’s reason was.
It’s the little things in life that give us pleasure. Actually the little things may mean more for us than the big things. I desire to win the lottery. Should I put my happiness on hold while I have the opportunity to watch a sundown with my bride? I think not. Live each day as it is our last. Cheers to you Rebuildus, I drink to your happiness as well.
Yes but He also said He is returning to judge the world.
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