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Disney To Remove Problematic Kiss From Classic Movie, Snow White Will Now Remain Dead [satire]
Babylon Bee ^ | May 5, 2021

Posted on 05/10/2021 10:53:30 AM PDT by grundle

BURBANK CA—After mounting criticism from an avalanche of 3 people online, Disney has decided to release a new cut of the classic film Snow White. In the new version, Prince Charming will refrain from a non-consensual kiss and leave her to die instead.

"We know our stories need to change with the times," said Disney CEO Bob Chapek. "Kissing someone without consent is NOT ok. We have changed the film in all countries except China. They are totally cool with non-consensual kissing over there."

Sources say the new version will show Prince Charming walking up to the bed where Snow White lies cold and dead under the evil queen's spell. He will then try to get her to wake up so she can sign a consent form. After several unsuccessful attempts, he will walk away like the true feminist hero he is. The movie ends with a time-lapse of Snow White slowly wasting away until she's nothing but dust.

Inspiring!

We've never seen the movie and don't plan to," said the 3 people online, "but we are pleased Disney has chosen to do the right thing here."


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1 posted on 05/10/2021 10:53:30 AM PDT by grundle
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To: grundle

Better change her last name ,LOL


2 posted on 05/10/2021 10:54:44 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: grundle

Dead ... just like a Woke soul....


3 posted on 05/10/2021 10:55:13 AM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: grundle

Just mark her down as another COVID stat.


4 posted on 05/10/2021 10:55:30 AM PDT by FirstFlaBn
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To: grundle
In the new version, Prince Charming will refrain from a non-consensual kiss and leave her to die instead.

LOL

5 posted on 05/10/2021 10:56:50 AM PDT by GOPJ (January 6th - Patriot March Against Systemic Voter Fraud.)
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To: grundle

Sleeping Beauty too


6 posted on 05/10/2021 10:59:31 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Lean on Joe Biden to follow Donald Trump's example and donate his annual salary to charity. L)
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*


7 posted on 05/10/2021 11:03:06 AM PDT by PMAS (Vote with your wallets, there are 80 million of us - No Amazon, No Chy-Na made )
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To: grundle
No consent, no consent!!


8 posted on 05/10/2021 11:06:07 AM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: a fool in paradise

That will change as well.

The princess will be a gay prince, and the hero as well.

Renamed “Sleeping Booty”..............


9 posted on 05/10/2021 11:06:26 AM PDT by Red Badger (Jesus said there is no marriage in Heaven. That's why they call it Heaven.....................)
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To: grundle

Snowy and the Evil Queen will hook up give Prince Charming a sex change


10 posted on 05/10/2021 11:11:57 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: grundle

Well, I’m more than a little miffed at the book Black Beauty now.


11 posted on 05/10/2021 11:17:23 AM PDT by econjack
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To: grundle

12 posted on 05/10/2021 11:17:31 AM PDT by PROCON (Our rights do not come from government, therefore they cannot take them away.)
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To: grundle

Dang you GOT ME! :D


13 posted on 05/10/2021 11:27:52 AM PDT by Caipirabob (Communists...Socialists...Fascists & AntiFa...Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: grundle

Didn’t the Sleeping Beauty have the same problem?


14 posted on 05/10/2021 11:32:49 AM PDT by Savage Beast (Depravity is the evil heart of the Democrat Party.)
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To: GOPJ

in the best cut, Prince Charming doesn’t even waste any time looking for her at all, spending his time improving his mind, achieving financial security, and having a good life with his dog and several close guy friends.


15 posted on 05/10/2021 11:33:26 AM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: grundle

In the new version, the prince finds Snow White, realizes it would be sexist to kiss her without her consent, leaves hers there, has the seven little people make a copycat dress, finds the huntsman and takes his knife, removes the family jewels, puts on the dress, and adopts the name Snow White. Upon seeing the new Snow White, the Evil Queen is so impressed by this display of progressive bravery, that she abdicates and gives her power to the new Snow White, but not before declaring whiteness and transphobia an offense punishable by death. And they all suffered equally ever after.


16 posted on 05/10/2021 11:47:41 AM PDT by Stravinsky
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To: grundle

I think stoned out of her mind; not dead. At least that what my gramps said when he saw it as a kid. She bit an apple, right? Had some juice in it, right?


17 posted on 05/10/2021 12:11:10 PM PDT by SkyDancer (If At First You Don't Succeed ~ So Much For Skydiving)
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To: grundle

That’s going to cheer up the kiddies!


18 posted on 05/10/2021 12:13:20 PM PDT by ReleaseTheHounds ("The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." M. Thatcher )
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To: grundle

Disney has some big problems with High Level employee’s if sensitive information gets leaked to the media, Will it be Released by July 4th??


19 posted on 05/10/2021 12:52:24 PM PDT by eyeamok (founded in cynicism, wrapped in sarcasm)
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To: grundle

Next week Snow White will be renamed snow black


20 posted on 05/10/2021 1:04:14 PM PDT by ronnie raygun
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