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Dear Mrs. President.

I hope you had a great time, and I hope you made a lot of friends at Salamander.

As you know the land was purchased, and it was created by Sheila Johnson, the wife of the founder of Black Entertainment Television.

I hope it gives you a great measure of pride, despite opposition in Middleburg, to know that powerful African American women such as yourself are in charge!

And - your girls should know it as well.

But, there is a problem here.

The problem is that Sheila Johnson owes a LOT of people a LOT of money. People who worked hard for her in her mansion, at Salamander, and on her properties.

Regular guys, like a lot of my buddies, who did electrical work, sheetrock, groundskeeping...

Whereas she always paid the big contractors, she screwed little guys all around her.

That's why so many people in Middleburg hate her And Salamander.

Because she screwed us.

Mrs. President, could you see it in your heart to talk to Mrs. Johnson about her debts?

She has so many lawyers, and we just can't collect. Is she broke?

Will she talk to us?

Maybe you can get her to talk to us?

Sincerely,

Just another loser American looking for accountability.

Please show the proper respect to the First Lady, who all by herself is "Black Entertainment Television."

She has the toughest job in the country, i.e., convincing the world that Barry is NOT, NOT I say, gay.

Perhaps the title ought to be temporarily changed to "First Beard?"

Besides, it has literally been many days since her last vacation and we ought not to be so niggardly about her budget and time off from the "First Beard" gig.

Furthermore, Michelle, through her Robinson family connection, is related to the legitimate side of the Jesse Jackson family, his baby daddy being a Robinson. This is royalty.

In regard to Sheila stiffing the local Middleburg contractors: as you know, Sheila's ancestors were held as slaves. She therefore may possibly consider the debts a sort of pre-payment of those "Reparations" she feels are owed to her. Of course, those contractors she stiffed may put a "mechanics lien" on the properties, effectively preventing their sale or transfer until such settlements as may be possible are reached. I trust your buddies will not find the amounts settled upon to be niggardly, either.

Interesting that a "Salamander" is a reptile that can often assume whatever protective coloration is necessary