Skip to comments.50 Rules for Dads of Daughters
Posted on 01/09/2012 3:21:04 PM PST by Berlin_Freeper
1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good shell fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, thats just the way it is. Id prefer good.
2. Always be there. Quality time doesnt happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each others presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Dont just sit idly by while she add years to her add life to her years.
3. Save the day. Shell grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. Shell need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.
(Excerpt) Read more at fromdatestodiapers.com ...
Thanks for posting
Always clean your armaments in front of her boyfriend!
A friend of mine posted a link to this on Facebook.
I went and read the whole thing.
It’s pretty good, but as I read it I realized that with some word changes and additions here and there allot of the good advice could have just as easily been given as “50 Rules for Dads and Their Sons and Daughters”.
Maybe I’m just prejudiced, as a male, and maybe, in my prejudice, I just see modern dads failing their sons more than their daughters.
Politely accompany her boyfriends to the front door, in the same manner as demonstrated by Al Bundy when escorting Kelly’s boyfriends to the door.
those photos were wonderful.. some good advice..bookmarked... mine are all grown up, but I did most of these with my 2 girls.
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED “YES” TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
In 50 words or less, what does “LATE” mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does “ABSTINENCE” mean to you?
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
C: A woman’s place is in the:
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)
Where were you when I needed this list 20 years ago?
(Still managed to do fairly well, I guess...)
Ping for later
Great post. It means more to me than I can post to you. Thanks for posting it on FR.
7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.
Holy Cow is that true! I grew up in a home with 4 brothers - no sisters. Our son is 5 years older than our daughter. When our daughter hit puberty - all hell broke loose with her and her mother.
I had no idea!
She’s 19 now. And things are great. But - OH! There were times....
But the writer left out playing barbie and having tea parties. I felt stupid doing it but miss it now.
This is a very sweet list.
I’m surprised no one has posted this gem yet.
“Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter”
Some thoughtful information for those who are daughters, were daughters, have daughters, intend to have daughters, or intend to date a daughter.
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like change the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Item #1.... Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good shell fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, thats just the way it is. Id prefer good.....is the best.
Great list. It reminded me that there are quite a few things that I’ve done to create a lifetime bond with my girl, but I also got a few tips for things I hadn’t thought of.
Mine just turned 14, so we’re moving into the unknown territories. I hope I handle it ok.
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