Bill Would Expand Government Surveillance of Banking Transactions

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 1 May 2010 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

The “Restoring American Financial Stability Act” sponsored by Senator Chris Dodd (D-Conn) would, among other things, require banks to monitor every transaction processed through their systems and forward this information to a newly created federal Consumer Financial Protection Agency (CFPA).

Senator Dodd defended the surveillance, calling it “a crucial weapon for combating irresponsible consumer spending. Too many people can’t seem to manage their appetite for spending. They’ll overdraw their bank accounts and pile up credit card debt to buy things they don’t really need and can’t afford. If we’re to stop this behavior government needs to monitor transactions so it can intervene to prevent this squandering of the nation’s wealth.”

To guard against excessive consumer spending the CFPA would be empowered to order banks to freeze the accounts and credit cards of individuals and businesses the agency determines are not using their funds wisely.

[John Semmens]

ping

[SWAMPSNIPER]

When I started drawing Social Security I recieved checks in the mail. After several months they stopped. The local SS office had no explanation. My ex sister in law works at my bank. She had happened across records showing that SS was transfering funds to an account I had closed while I was waiting 7 months for SS to kick in. She called me. The bank was sending them back, not putting them in a current account.

I finally got through to someone who would make an effort to figure things out. She said I had signed up for direct deposit. I never signed anything like that, why would I, I knew that I had no active checking account at that time.

Someone at SS forged my signature, there is no other explanation.

There is some element of privacy when you cash a check and put the money in your wallet. When you are forced to work through a checking account your privacy takes a hit.

I'm thinking about just making withdrawals with my debit card and paying cash for most transactions, just to spite them if for nothing else.

[Rodamala]

By John Semmens: Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

I read this and was ready to forward this to everyone I know, close my bank accounts and go stock up on ammo...

then I checked the original...

SHEESH! YA GOT ME!

[EDINVA]

Over the past 16 months it’s become increasingly difficult to discern satire from actuality in DC.

[ARepublicanForAllReasons]

I read this and was ready to forward this to everyone I know, close my bank accounts and go stock up on ammo...

Great satire John, but you've got to beware of the 'Orson Wells' effect. Just a little too close to reality for comfort.

My pulse is back to normal by now. How about yours, Rodamala?

[rockinqsranch]

I picture a wild eyed man, but with a glint in his eye, and tongue firmly packed into his cheek writing this one today John. Thanks for the chuckle, and thanks for the ping.

[freekitty]

When is Dodd going to jail?

[theDentist]

Awww... and here I was going to begin every memo in my checks as “FY BO;”

[OneWingedShark]

>a crucial weapon for combating irresponsible consumer spending.

I thought jail-time [if fraud is involved] and repossession [if debts were unpaid] were the crucial weapons for combating that...

[oldteen]

Actually, I don't see that this is too far fetched for this bunch of radicals we're dealing with these days.

Good one John. Those who just happen across it and don't know/check for 'semi' are gonna need a BP stablizer real quick like ...lol.

[wastedyears]

Now that’s a good one John.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

When I’m 13 trillion dollars in debt, then maybe I’ll support this legislation!

Good one, John!

[fatnotlazy]

Thanks, John. Love the Dodd “quote.” LOL

If we didn’t laugh, we’d probably all start crying.

[fatnotlazy]

And I signed up for direct deposit, but SS kept sending me the checks. Took several months to straighten that out.

Ah yes, your government at work...

[philman_36]

So many things to choose from and well chosen are your choices.

[novemberslady]

Sure it's funny now :)

...'course bambi thinks there comes a point where a person has enough money, so the writing's on the wall.
Or something.

And they'll be laughing all the way to your bank.
oooops, they've been there already...

Thanks for the grin.

[Oceander]

Too many people can’t seem to manage their appetite for spending. They’ll overdraw their bank accounts and pile up credit card debt to buy things they don’t really need and can’t afford. If we’re to stop this behavior government needs to monitor transactions so it can intervene to prevent this squandering of the nation’s wealth.

B.S. of the purest sort. This is 1970s soviet-style nanny-statism.

[Nailbiter]

Are we sure you do not work for the dark one. LOL
These a\satires are so close to the truth

[Man50D]

I’m upset with you John! You’re putting ideas into Dudd’s head that might make him reconsider running for office after many of us in Connecticut hounded him at every public appearance in the state causing him to drop out!