I did too, then I homeschooled my kids and got straightened out. I learned more in the 12 years I homeschooled my kids than the 12 years I spent in public school. It's not irreversible damage.
I admire you for being a good mom.
You're right, if we blame our lives now on the past, then we need to do what we can to overcome it.
Some prisoners try that tactic.
The damage can be undone if the victim knows that he's been damaged. But we know that most victims are unaware of the damage that's been done to them since they send their own children to the same schools that damaged them.