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DUmmie FUnnies 04-22-05 ("Kerry still working on stolen election")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 22, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 04/22/2005 3:14:29 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

The Charlie Brown DUmmies are ONCE AGAIN kicking at the Stolen Election football. However, instead of Lucy, it is John Kerry again who is yanking that football away at the last moment as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Kerry still working on stolen election. If this is true, it's good news.” One of the funniest things about this latest outbreak of DUmmie gullibility is the flimsy evidence upon what they base their wild hope. I would tell you right now what this “evidence” is but I would strain my credibility if I did so. Therefore let the DUmmies reveal their own gullible stupidity in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, drawing up a sales contract on a certain bridge in Brooklyn for the DUmmies to sign, is in the [brackets]:

Kerry still working on stolen election. If this is true, it's good news.

[Oooooh! Oooooh! Oooooh! How could it not be true? YIPPPPEEEEEEEE!!!! I’m so HAPPPPPYYYYYYY!!!!]

This was blogged today on
http://www.bradblog.com/archives/00001340.htm#comments

COMMENT #13
...jen said on 4/21/2005 @ 3:05pm PT... Anyways, I wanted to share this bit of happy "news" I got this morning! I posted this earlier on my "home" blog and am just copying that post here:

When I got home I got a phone call from someone working for Kerry. They called to thank me for signing the "Kids Come First" Act, and of course for $.

[Actually the WHOLE PURPOSE of the call was for the $$$ but continue DUmmie Amaryllis…]

Before he could get to any of that I expressed to him that my #1 concern is with the election system, went over some of the problems from the '04 election, and asked if he knew if Kerry was aware that the election was stolen. He said he is very aware of it and one of the reasons he's not speaking out is because they are still in the process of gathering all the information and proof they can before publicly addressing it.

He said they knew that if they tried to address the stolen election before they had "all their ducks in a row" (my words, not his) they would be labeled conspiracy nuts and ridiculed to the point of people not believing any of what they said. He said as far as the paperless voting machines that it would take longer than if there had been a paper traill, but that it is still traceable. He also said the same thing about the Vote Tabulators - that even if the hacking of the machines was done in a way that couldn't be detected, that they can detect it but it takes longer...

I didn't ask how or any details of what's being done, but I thought it was somewhat encouraging and interesting that Kerry is in fact part of the investigations and discovery process - makes me wonder who else is involved that is just being very quite about it!

[A phone operator hitting you up for bucks told you that Kerry is working on exposing vote fraud? Then it MUST BE TRUE!!! WOO! HOO! I’m soooooo happy that I feel an orgasmatron in overdrive in my pantalones!!!]

I knew John Kerry was always with us!

[Shane! I knew you could, Shane. I knew it. I knew it just as well as anything.]

Sure seems that way to me, from everything I know about his character.

[I just love Shane!]

Same here. My first comment at my first DFA meeting on Dec. 1st? "John Kerry wouldn't abandon us; John Kerry wouldn't do that." Nobody believed me, but I still knew. We have that bond you see, he and I. I knew he wasn't done yet.

[We want you, Shane. Mother wants you. I know she does!]

It is encouraging but perhaps self-defeating to leak to someone who posts on a blog that is read by many who post it other places who post it other...IF you are trying to keep it quiet...

[Shhh! Mum’s da word!]

I thought about that, but I don't think this would get anywhere near MSM.

[But it WILL get laughed at on the DUmmie FUnnies.]

After getting hopes up too many times I am prone to suspecting EVERYTHING.

[But this time it’s TRUE! It’s all true! I BEEELEEEEEVEE!!!]

I hope it mean's his ducks are in a row, and its time to start getting the story out there, meaning Kerry is going to go public with it soon. Lets hope.

[Correct. Kerry will go public with this story right after he signs his Form 180.]

If that's true, then the guy who told her this stuff, if indeed he actually did, and if indeed it is actually true, never should have said anything, and Kerry should have sworn them all to secrecy, and Teresa never should have practially come out and said the eleciton was stolen.

[Kerry needs to keep secret the fact that he is as NUTTY as Teh-RAY-suh.]

I think they're leaking it. To what end I'm not sure.

[So Kerry can be inaugurated President on Jan. 20.]

Well, let's do a little "Creative Visualization".

[aka “visualize our own reality.”

I can FEEL it! I can, I can!

[Pa's got things for you to do, and Mother wants you. I know she does. Shane. Shane. Come back. 'Bye, Shane ....]

This version of events makes a hell of a lot more sense than any other I have heard. I think the newfound vigor, and dare I say, aggression in Kerry's persona as of late in the senate is a good indicator he's pissed, and definitely has a lot up his sleeve. He has really been vocal about sticking it to the Repukes recently, and I think it has a lot to do with knowing full well he was duped out of the presidency.

[I love him almost as much as I love Pa. That's alright, isn't it?]

I would not be inclined to believe that he's doing nothing. When has he ever done nothing? He's a damn crafty prosecuting attorney, and I have no doubt he's working in the same methodical "under the radar" way he always has. I'm not bothered a bit by his quiescence on the matter. I have learned from experience, and from observing Kerry's investigative methods over the years, that he takes his time and does things "just so" in order to get the desired result. He's doing everything right. Investigations do take time, but we will hear something in good time. I'm sure of it.

[There's no living with a killing. There's no going back from it. Right or wrong, it's a brand, a brand that sticks.]

Agreed, plus, Michael Moore has been strangely silent as well as many others who know the election was stolen. They said things in the beginning that hinted to the silence for now approach. Remember Susan Sarandon's remarks about the secret workings? This is good news. Also note that Theresa was talking about voting irregularities too.

[Put a man on a good horse. Send him to Cheyenne for help. The next time we fight with them, the air will be full of gunsmoke.]

OMG. I just had a fantasy flash...what if they found hard, irrefuable evidence, and Kerry, MM, Susan Sanrandon, etc. etc. etc. called this giant press conference, all of them at the same time in different parts of the country, or maybe they all come together in DC, and spill the beans? Just a fantasy... Kerry has got to know, with what Teresa said, and he isn't one to sit around and twiddle his thumbs while Rome burns. Fraud is hard to prove, or so the attorneys say...

[Or…or…or maybe the Great Pumpkin will arise out of a pumpkin patch on Halloween night!]

I hope that's right. I do remember reading how Kerry and Edwards would pop up to sign things if needed. I remember hearing an audio file of Kerry at a rally or something talking to someone and he was telling who was next to him that the Bush administration were the biggest bunch of criminals he's ever seen and he's just getting started on them. Does anybody have that audio file?? And it does make sense that they'd be quiet so they can work behind the scenes without people being suspecious and without being labeled "consperiacy nuts." That happened with the Ohio elecotral vote objection. I think things are finally happening and I hope and pray it's soon!

[Please! Please! Great Pumpkin! MAKE the past few months go away!]

I still keep hoping there will be some kind of miracle, some kind of Watergate, except it would have to be SO much bigger than Watergate to make an impact. Look at Gannon; that should have been as big as WAtergate, and MSM hardly touched it.

[Maybe you should have painted Gannon’s bald head pumpkin orange so it would have looked like the Great Pumpkin.]

Never forget, Kerry was a prosecutor, a very successful prosecutor. He would never make allegations before the investigation was completed. Grand juries are conducted in secret for a reason, to keep the bad guys from interferring with the witnesses and destroying the evidence. Maybe that is why all of the investigation is done in secret, to keep the bastards from hiding the evidence or killing any more witnesses than they have.

[You just wait. You just wait. Kerry is going to pull a Perry Mason trick out of his magic hat. You just wait.]

if you think about it the concession makes sense too. They knew he stole it again I'm sure. So he conceded because they had to work behind the scenes. If Kerry did like Gore he would've made people mad etc. and they would've been on his tail like with Gore and the "riots." This time a lot of work got done and more proof to get Bush and his people and get rid of the voting machines so they'll never be used again. It's smart how people like Conyers are on the team to get rid of the voting machines and not going about the "Bush stole 2004" route while other people work behind the scenes. I found the video of Mr. Dean talking about them being brought down in the spring and it was the February meeting where he is sworn in as chairman.

[De plan, Boss, de PLAN!!! It’s all working so beautifully according to Kerry’s plan!]

I've been let down so many times by DU information but I will allow myself ONE MORE TIME to get my hopes up. I love and respect John Kerry and it makes sense that he would not go foward until all of the evidence had been collected. He is going to be a great President.

[Okay, Charlie Brown. You can try to kick the foot ball again just ONE MORE TIME.]

If/when Kerry makes a move, you can be sure that he'll have a complete case all wrapped up against BushCo with irrefutable evidence. It will be wonderful to see. They will realize that they picked the wrong guy to steal an election from--he's a fighter, not a quitter.

[Now you run on home to your mother and tell her, tell her everything's alright, and there aren't any more guns in the valley.]

Yippee! But let's dummy up a little!! I have suspected all along that Kerry was getting his ducks in a row, but folx since we all love our Prez Kerry so much,and desperately want him to claim what is proudly his own- the best thing we can do to help him,us, and the world!.. is to keep this quieter. I fear there are a lot of Rethuglican spies out there just waiting to have something to report to their bosses, to stop the process. On the other hand, I like to think they are all so busy in GOP land with damage control with Delay,Frist,Bolton, you name it, plus the global domination plans they have in mind, (I mean... they are busy!), that the Nov. theft nastiness trail might have slipped through their fingers. Plus, they probably think that like the former poster that it isn't that easy to just prove it and take over. They are probably less paranoid about that than anything else! But, JK was a prosecutor, and I look forward to the zeal with which the wrath shall fly.Kerry is extremely smart, and I'm sure he has a good plan, but he's staying in the fight, and that is really s something to cheer about. I imagine he is more than just mad as hell! GO-KERRY-GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[You go home to your mother and your father. And grow up to be strong and straight. And Joey, take care of them, both of them.]

I thought it was congress who would choose prez and vice prez if they were to resign? I think if the true facts come out ,and 70 80 million people were pissed about what happened, I think congress would have to choose Kerry/Edwards "faster than a cat trying to sh*t on a hot tin roof"

[Even little boy Joey knows more about how the Constitution works than you do.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; johnkerry
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To: Purrcival

Someone needs to post the "Aw Geez" picture!


81 posted on 04/22/2005 6:33:16 PM PDT by PatriotGirl827 (Would you rather be O.J.'s girlfriend or Michael Schiavo's fiancee? - Ann Coulter)
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To: PJ-Comix
I didn't ask [for] any details of what's being done...

DUmmie Chorus: "And we don't need them!"

Same here. My first comment at my first DFA meeting on Dec. 1st? "John Kerry wouldn't abandon us; John Kerry wouldn't do that." Nobody believed me, but I still knew. We have that bond you see, he and I.

Much like the one he had with Jodie Foster a few years back. But that's another story

OMG. I just had a fantasy flash...[that hasn't letup since it started during the Carter Administration] what if they found hard, irrefuable evidence, [say some inane info posted on the internet by "Jen"?] and Kerry, MM, Susan Sanrandon, etc. etc. etc. [Carrot Top! Don't forget Carrot Top!] called this giant press conference, all of them at the same time in different parts of the country, or maybe they all come together in DC, and spill the beans? [Or maybe not]

I can FEEL it! I can, I can!

What you're feeling is a tranquilizer dart.

I do remember reading how Kerry and Edwards would pop up to sign things if needed

Like Surgery Release Forms

82 posted on 04/22/2005 6:35:15 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: gardencatz
Maybe it was more like the moonbat being solicited for funds went off on a tangent about the "stolen election" and the Kerry worker trying to appease the moonbat mumbled something about Kerry being aware of "problems" with the last election, his deep concern about election fraud and making sure all elections had a paper trail. Then our little moonbat, hearing what he/she wanted to hear promptly posted this supposedly priveleged and secret information on the internet. This led, naturally, to wild fantasies and utterly absurd speculation on DU

Exactly.

83 posted on 04/22/2005 6:44:21 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: PJ-Comix
"....and from observing Kerry's investigative methods over the years, that he takes his time and does things "just so" in order to get the desired result. He's doing everything right."

See, what all you silly conservatives fail to understand is that this is all planned. sKerry just let George Bush think he won the election.

Once he has all his ducks in a row, sKerry is gonna spring the trap and, shebang! he'll be president.

You! You there....Stop laughing!

You too!
84 posted on 04/22/2005 6:44:30 PM PDT by rockrr (Revote or Revolt! It's up to you Washington!)
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To: Ditter

What is really surprising is that the Democrats consider themselves to be better educated that us Red Stater's. HAHA!


85 posted on 04/22/2005 6:58:35 PM PDT by rocksblues (First there was Terri, whose next? You, me, your child, your wife?)
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To: PJ-Comix
More proof that Kerry will soon be president..


Look at the determined look on Kerry's face. Look at those steely prosecutor's
eyes! Kerry knows the election was stolen and will soon be bringing the hammer
down on the Chimpster. WHOOOOO HOOOO!!


86 posted on 04/22/2005 7:10:41 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: Roscoe Karns

Actually, to me, he looks like he's about to cry, just thinking, "That should be ME on the other side of that glass...."


87 posted on 04/22/2005 7:18:17 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: PJ-Comix
He said they knew that if they tried to address the stolen election before they had "all their ducks in a row" (my words, not his) they would be labeled conspiracy nuts

Too late!

and ridiculed to the point of people not believing any of what they said.

Kinda like the MSM is now.....ROTFLMAO!!!

88 posted on 04/22/2005 7:30:29 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Same here. My first comment at my first DFA meeting on Dec. 1st? "John Kerry wouldn't abandon us; John Kerry wouldn't do that." Nobody believed me, but I still knew. We have that bond you see, he and I. I knew he wasn't done yet.

"Save us, John Kerry! We believe in you! You can walk on water, heal the sick, make the blind see, feed the multitude! Save us, Johnny, SAVE US!!!!!"

Poor, diluted soul....his tinfoil hat must me on too tight, or slipped off to the side....

89 posted on 04/22/2005 7:35:02 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: rocksblues
What is really surprising is that the Democrats consider themselves to be better educated that us Red Stater's.

Yep, when in fact, they are too stupid to realize just how stupid they really are.......

(Note that I said "stupid" and not "ignorant". Ignorance is temporary and can be cured, stupidity is permanent...)

90 posted on 04/22/2005 7:40:17 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: Purrcival
Where's Elmer?

Who do you think got those ducks in a row?


91 posted on 04/22/2005 7:43:04 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUCK!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
It is encouraging but perhaps self-defeating to leak to someone who posts on a blog that is read by many who post it other places who post it other...IF you are trying to keep it quiet...

Right......Kinda like "what did he know and when did he know it....", or "what the definition of 'is' is...."

92 posted on 04/22/2005 7:43:40 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: dirtbiker
I have found that Democrats/Liberals/Socialists/Communists are in fact well educated but have no Common Sense.
93 posted on 04/22/2005 7:44:33 PM PDT by rocksblues (First there was Terri, whose next? You, me, your child, your wife?)
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To: rocksblues
...well educated but have no Common Sense.

Very true, but if they have no common sense, then do they have intelligence?

BTW, why is it called "common sense", when it doesn't seem to be all that common...?

94 posted on 04/22/2005 7:49:10 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: Purrcival
Welcome back!

I'm not really "back." Just taking little breaks here and there or posting when I'm too brain-dead to do any real work. I'm still gearing up for the talk I'm giving on May 3. Today I translated a bunch of Swedish.

95 posted on 04/22/2005 7:55:24 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Sporadically yours . . .)
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To: dirtbiker
Intelligence does not insure you of not making mistakes.

Common Sense is knowing that what you do or say has consequences.

96 posted on 04/22/2005 8:06:05 PM PDT by rocksblues (First there was Terri, whose next? You, me, your child, your wife?)
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To: PJ-Comix

I am still holding out hope Nixon will prove voter fraud against JFK and annul the election.


97 posted on 04/22/2005 8:08:56 PM PDT by Always Right
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To: Scothia; doug from upland
I see Doug is rubbing off on you, Charles! Well done!

Thank you. But I was writing parodies back when Hector was a pup and Doug was still in the lowlands. Allan Sherman, Tom Lehrer and Stan Freberg were my inspirations growing up. Doug, I'm guessing they were your heroes, too.

98 posted on 04/22/2005 8:14:23 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Good work, Charles. The only thing I knew about Sherman was CAMP GRANADA. I remember the Smothers Bros but I don't think I knew Lehrer at all. I only started writing parodies in about 1998.


99 posted on 04/22/2005 8:16:43 PM PDT by doug from upland (MOCKING DEMOCRATS 24/7 --- www.rightwingparodies.com)
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To: PJ-Comix

When you get it published, I'll do the whole Spanish translation of it for you. For free. Just make sure I get to come to the book signing party/cruise with your amigas latinas...er, oops.

On second thought, la esposa wouldn't like that too much.

Never mind.


100 posted on 04/22/2005 8:17:06 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Senate switchboard: 202-225-3121. Reach out and complain to someone.)
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