If you push all the correct buttons, the airplane will land itself and come to a complete stop on the runway. I think you could probably talk most people through the process if the airplance had enough gas.
I, however, could most definitely land it.
I would hope you were non-rev on the flight I was on if this happened. Somehow me bouncing a Cherokee warrior on an 8000 foot runway I don’t think qualifies me to land a heavy.
Since you are a commercial pilot (or were) I would certainly hope so. ;-)