I don't know why aviation became such a thing for me(from a very early age)...I got sick on carnival rides, was claustrophobic, afraid of heights...but it's all I ever wanted to do, and spent so much time on it over decades...even AFTER my actual (miserable) flight experiences(LOL).
It's faded now (in my 60's)
Maybe I just liked airplanes..or the fantasy of flight...mistook that for actually wanting to become a pilot.
...just one of those things in life I'll never know for sure.
You were promised a flying car...