hehe ! Hey, I may have already posted this here on yesterday's thread ? Apologies if so ...********************
Once upon a time there was this lady and her kid that needed to go down town so they hopped on a bus. As she was waitin for change from the driver he was laughin uncontrollably ! The lady asked the driver what was so funny - he said "lady that's gotta be the ugliest kid I've ever seen in my life" as he continues laughin.
The lady starts cryin and goes to the back of the bus and sits down next to a man. The man couldn't miss that the lady was bawlin big time so he asked "whats yer problem lady" ? She says "that bus driver just insulted me like I've never been insulted in my life" !
So the man says "tell you what - you go up there and slap him - and I'll hold your monkey" !
______________________________A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2003 Turbo Best Car. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000.
He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young many replies "A 2003 Turbo Best Car. They cost $500,000."
"That's a lot of money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure" replies the owner. So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhoossh! Something whips by him, going much faster!"
"What on earth could be going faster than my Turbo Best Car?" the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whooosshh! It goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped!
"Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Turbo Best Car?"
Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whoooshka-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and Wow, IT IS the old man!!! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. He runs up to the dying old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man groans and replies "Yes. Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"