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Maelstrom, where did you go to pick up gay men? You ACTIVELY SOUGHT gay male company, and it surprised you when they tried to pick you up?

What were the reports from conservatives that you didn't believe? That when an attractive (giving you the benefit of the doubt ;-) )younger man starts hanging out with groups of homosexuals, that they might get the idea it isn't for fashion tips?

I'm VERY curious as to your methods.

I don't know anyone in AA, gay or straight, so I'll take your word for it that lesbians think it's a good place to pick up. Possibly that makes sense.. people may drink because they hate themselves. Sort of like the suicide/homosexuality link. Maybe it isn't that homosexuality in and of itself leads to suicide, it is fear of rejection.

Whether that is true or not, it's worth considering that there may be a reason besides "compulsives make better homosexuals" that lesbians pick up at AA.

Also... for your "behind the veil" comment...I grew up with three brothers (all of them straight). The way they speak about women with their friends is sometimes... well, you can probably imagine. There was a good deal of trash talking. It may have been similar with the men you talked to. I don't know, I really don't know many gay men at all. The lesbians I know sound NOTHING like the picture you paint.

Maelstrom, where did you go to pick up gay men? You ACTIVELY SOUGHT gay male company, and it surprised you when they tried to pick you up?

Nope, they came to me. They broke the rule, "I'll leave them alone if they leave me alone." So I decided to find out what and why. I just listened and took notes.

I'd let them develop whatever atmosphere they wanted, and I'd ask what was happening in their lives when they were younger. What their fathers were like, what their mothers were like, who was important in their lives. What they liked to do, what was happening in their lives when they were younger, and what events made them realize they were gay.

All the questions are interspersed with an exchange of what my own life was like. When the final question is put to them in a relaxed atmosphere, you receive a very different answer than if you ask them questions in a sterile, survey-like manner. Laughing over the awkward questions, as among friends, and letting them relive their lives before you.

See, in that type of atmosphere, they aren't concentrating on telling you what they want you to hear, they're concentrating on seducing a young teenager. The answers are more truthful when they're unafraid of another's judgement.

Just sit back and listen, and let them spin their tales. Then run...because once they realize that you aren't about to submit to their whims, they become aggressive and angry. I was able to obtain roughly 2 dozen such interviews from homosexuals from, and in, several parts of the country, as well as outside the country, before I came to the conclusion that they needed help, whether psychological or psychiatric.