And now for the really pathetic news (vomitus alert):
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (Reuters) -- Former first feline Socks the cat, the ultimate insider of two Clinton administrations, will return home to Arkansas for the first time since leaving the White House and be honored in a parade through the state's capital, organizers said Friday.
Socks will be the grand marshal of the annual Little Rock Christmas parade Saturday. [So glad to see they appreciate the real meaning of Christmas in Little Rock.] The 11-year-old cat will lead the parade and ride aboard a vintage 1967 Ford Mustang convertible owned by former President Bill Clinton. [Bet he hasn't paid his property tax on it]
It will mark the first return to Arkansas in about 10 years for the stray cat adopted by the Clinton family. Holding Socks in the parade will be Jackye Parker, principal of a Little Rock elementary school named for Clinton, [Would you send a child to that school?] and some of the school's students.
Socks, so named by Chelsea Clinton in recognition of his four white paws, is an otherwise coal black cat adopted by the former president's daughter in 1991, while her father was still governor of Arkansas. When Clinton won the presidency in 1992, Socks, by then a celebrity, moved to the White House with the family.
When Clinton's eight-year tenure as president ended, he and his wife, Hillary, moved to New York, [More or less, considering neither one actually lives there] from where the former first lady won a seat in the U.S. Senate. Chelsea Clinton, now studying at Oxford University in England, entrusted Socks to her father's White House secretary, Betty Currie of Washington, who is accompanying the cat to Little Rock.
"It will be quite a homecoming for Socks," said Linda Caillouet of the Little Rock Convention and Visitors Bureau. "He has probably missed Arkansas terribly." source