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To: maxwell
So what's his old lady put when shes posting

I take umbrage to that sir!...That's no "old lady"!...that's my wife!

If she was here, she'd kick your web-arse!...Thankfully for you, she's out working so I can be here......ahhh...I do love that woman so...

FMCDH

72 posted on 05/03/2002 11:36:50 AM PDT by nothingnew
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To: nothingnew
Well don't take umbrage dude, here have thre rest of my beer... I could do with an arsekicking thouhg.Bwaha.

Let's ahve some tunes, y'all...

Country music singers have always been a real close family
But lately some of my kinfolk have disowned a few others and me
I guess it's because I went and changed my position
Lord, I guess I went and broke their family tradition

They yell, they wanna know: "Hank.."
Why do you drink? Why do you roll smoke?
Why must you live out the songs that you wrote?
Stop and think it over - try to put yourself in this position
When I get stoned, I'm just carryin' on and old family tradition.

Now I am very proud of my daddy's name
Although his kind of music and mine ain't exactly the same
Stop and think it over - try to put yourself in my position
When I get stoned and sing all night long it's just a family tradition

Don't ask me: "Hank..."
Why do you drink? Why do you roll smoke?
Why must you live out them songs that you wrote?
If I'm down in a honky tonk, and some ole slick's tryin' to gimme some friction
I says "Leave me alone, I'm stayin' all night long 'cause it's a family tradition"

Lordy, I have loved some ladies, and I still love Jim Beam
They both tried to kill me in nineteen seventy-three
When that doctor asks me "Son, how'dja get in this condition?"
I says "Hey Sawbones, I'm just a-carryin' on the old family tradition."

So don't ask me: "Hank..."
Why do you drink? Why do you roll smoke?
Why must you live out them songs that you wrote?
Stop and think it over - try to put yourself in my unique position

When I get stoned and sing all night long, it's just a family tradition.

73 posted on 05/03/2002 11:43:01 AM PDT by maxwell
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To: nothingnew; MeeknMing
I ferget who sent me this... Bro, maybe...

Arthur Davidson of the Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Company died and went to heaven. Upon his arrival at the Pearly Gates St.Peter greeted him and said, "Since you've been so instrumental in influencing the world of motorcyles and your products have been so world changing you may hang out with anyone you choose in heaven."

Arthur thought for a moment and responded, "I would like to meet God." St.Peter led Arthur to the throne and introduced him to God. Arthur asked God, "Say aren't you the great inventor of the woman?" God responded with a mighty voice, "Why, Yes I am." "Well," Arthur said, "inventor to inventor, I would like to discuss with you some major design flaws I noted with your invention. First off there's too much inconsistency in the front end, it chatters constantly at high speed, the rear end is too soft and wobbles way too much, the intake is too close to the exhaust, and finally the maintenance costs are way too high in fact they're outrageous."

"Well those are all fine points," God noted, "but according to my calculations there are more men riding my invention than yours!"

81 posted on 05/03/2002 12:11:29 PM PDT by maxwell
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