10 signs that you are bombing on a date

AOL | 3-28-2002 | Shawn Croft

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Toupee man took me to a wedding as our first date ( and only). He failed to mention it was the wedding of his EX WIFE!

[BluH2o]

You make a statement and she disses it.

Nothing new here ... my wife does it all the time. We've been married 28 years.

[Petronski]

She screams "Allahu akbar! Death to infidels!" and then blows up.

[cibco]

I usually ask what kind of steak they would prefer... deer, antelope or elk. 95% of the questions and doubts both parties might have are eliminated.

1 good date is worth a thousand lousy ones. The good news is- I have eliminated 1000 bad ones so far. The next one could be it!

[mountaineer]

He didn't have you wear a green culotte outfit, did he?

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

No, Mr Green Coulotts made me wear that outfit on our trip to Vegas. He also thought that the United States had 52 states. He said that people always forgot Puerto Rico and New England.

[mamelukesabre]

This one drives me away faster than anything: She tries to offer you a bite of something off her plate. It is especially annoying if she puts it on her fork and holds it up to your face.

I don't know why women do this, but I can't stand it. Especially if it is the first date. If it happens on the first date, it becomes the last date, guaranteed.

[martin_fierro]

Toupee man took me to a wedding as our first date (and only). He failed to mention it was the wedding of his EX WIFE!

Oh MAN that's bad!!

You should've made a point of catching the bridal bouquet just so you could beat him over the head with it!

[mamelukesabre]

Here's another one that really happened to me. I'll tell this one and then shut up.

I arranged for a dinner at a very nice restaurant and got dressed up really well and washed the car and got a haircut, etc. I told my date exactly what time and how important it was for her to be ready when I go to pick her up. This wasn't the first date, and I knew she was prone to being late.

Well, when I got there, she answered the door in a cheezy pink nightie with fake fur and a glass of wine in her hand. She was half drunk and acting like a nympho. Maybe I over reacted or should have been flattered or something. But I was furious that I got all fixed up and made reservations at a fancy restaurant.....all for nothing. Besides, I was REALLY hungry. I tried to get her to put some clothes on really fast so we could go. Well, all she did was cry. Then I started feeling bad about making her cry and asked her what she had for me to eat, thinking I could still make this a pretty good night. Guess what? She hadn't even thought about food and had nothing for me to eat, and what really ticked me off was when she told me that she ALREADY ATE! That was the last straw, I left. But I still feel guilty about it now when I look back on it.

[Destructor]

"I sense some bitterness."

Me? Naw. Women come and go. No problem.

[Wright is right!]

"True first date comment: "I want you to know I've had my breasts reduced."

Had this happened with me, MY response would have been, "Oh really. So how much do you charge for them NOW?"

About the best I can muster on first-date-isms is the gal who told me that she had a 2-for-1 coupon book for dinners at local restaurants. This allowed me to find out how little fun she was for half the price.

Michael

[katykelly]

I once caught a cab while my date was in the bathroom. At least I took my leave before we ordered dinner. I don't feel quilty:-)

[1Old Pro]

She can't stop talking about how cruel it is to murder a deer and thinks people that do it are worthless nuts.

[BibChr]

"Why?" comes to mind.

Dating can provide literally surreal moments, can't it? I admit, I don't miss it.

Dan

[BibChr]

What a story. I understand your feelings. But believe me, up and down, you're well out of that. That one has "IMMINENT DOOM AHEAD" written all over it.

Dan

[grumpster-dumpster]

Here's my "Sea-Story; (This ain't no S***)":

Meet a woman for the first time at a restaurant... First thing she does after we meet and sit down at the table is she pulls a cell-phone out of her purse, makes a call and then holds up her index finger so let me know to keep my mouth shut while she's "communicating" with someone else... I get up without a word and go home.

I think that should be somewhere on your list... although I agree that "Monster Trucks" is one of the prime indicators.

[BibChr]

You make a statement and she disses it.
Nothing new here ... my wife does it all the time. We've been married 28 years.

Yeah, but if she starts doing it before you're married, that's trouble.

Dan

[BibChr]

From actual experience, though a couple of decades-plus ago:

1. She misses the date because she fell asleep on a friend's couch. (Don't try again! Don't!!)
2. She blows smoke in your face.
3. It's a double date, and she talks to the other couple and ignores you.
4. She mocks your religious convictions.

Dan

[Pharmboy]

Whoops--my bad. Looks like my thinking feature does not work. "PM" does not = "AM." DOH!

[mamelukesabre]

There's only guys here telling stories about women. Where's all the women with stories about men? I was looking forward to seeing how many of their stories could apply to me! LOL