Respectfully, CottonBall, I must disagree.
It takes strength to forgive those who have done wrong to us but when we forgive them we are behaving like Christ, Who asked the Father to forgive those who were killing him.
Forgiving strengthens us and frees us from a heavy and unhealthy weight which hinders our recovery from injury.
Forgiveness also opens the door to our loving our enemies.
My enemies probably don’t care if I love them, but it’s freeing for me!
:-)
I think it clearly depends on the circumstances, the offense, the time it happened, its effect....lots to consider.
For instance, forgiving someone who is gone from your life, possibly even passed, makes perfect sense. I think we’ve all done some of that. Heck, I’ve had to ask for forgiveness from someone who has passed. I asked God to ask her to please forgive me.
Pax, I don’t think that for one minute, if you were in charge of a school, and a bully (verbal, not physical) was walking down the hallway regularly pointing at, teasing, ridiculing and being generally nasty to other students, you would allow that to continue and just tell the victims to forgive him.
My guess is (because you seem like a caring and thinking person) you’d haul the bully into the office, let him know kindly, but firmly, that he must stop. There’s a good chance you’d also ask him to face a few of the students he was mean to, so they could tell him how he made them feel, in hopes of reaching him. I’ll go even further and guess you’d help him compose a heartfelt apology (assuming he had remorse) and the victims would happily accept it, shake hands, and go on to become friends.
I actually have a friend who had these exact circumstances happen. The bully stopped being a bully and actually became best buddies with the one kid he like picking on the most, my friend’s son. Turns out he was jealous of him. Talking is so helpful, especially when it leads to forgiveness and better things in the future.
I probably could have said that in fewer words, but I tend to ramble on at times lol.
yeah, I understand the spiritual concept of forgiveness, but to tell a child they have to forgive the bully that never stops being mean is just more cruelty. The victim has to forgive every day? There’s no strength building in that poor child.
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Very good, it does free us and does not depend on whether they apologize or not. If we don't forgive we allow the hurt to keep on hurting us, maybe not on the surface, but it is still there and is there to make us angry and resentful.