Posted on 06/18/2021 11:42:08 AM PDT by BipolarBob
Canceling people for having wrong opinions has overtaken baseball as America's national pastime. The cancel mob is always out there looking for its next victim! How will you survive? Here are 8 ways to ensure you won't be next:
1. Buy Twitter: You're also gonna want to buy Facebook too. And the rest of the internet as well. Then you call the shots! Simple!
2. Cancel everyone else first: If you're quick, you can destroy everyone else's lives before they destroy yours! Better hurry!
3. Disown your conservative Uncle Bill, your entire family, and everyone else who may hold right-leaning views: The last thing you want is for people online to discover you're Nazi adjacent! Don't worry, they won't really miss you that much.
4. Live in an undersea lair with no address so people can't dox you: This is important, and relatively easy to do. If Captain Nemo and Jeff Bezos can do it, so can you!
5. Staple your mouth shut and surgically remove your texting thumbs: avoid temptation at all costs.
6. Be perfectly sinless from birth until your death: No sins, no cancellation, right? Jesus was able to do it, and-- no, wait-- he still got canceled. Nevermind.
7. Hang a BLM flag, pride flag, and trans flag outside your house: Hang up all the flags. Be sure to update your pride flag every time they add a new color or you're a bigot.
8. Make a deal with the Devil to never be canceled for the low price of your soul: What good is a soul anyway if you've been canceled? Last we checked, deals with the devil are currently available in Washington D.C. and most Disney retail stores.
9: Belt-fed weapons.
10. Mary an abortion "clinic" worker.
11. Never know too much on the Clintons.
12. Drive an EV even if you live in a coal-powered area, with a bumper sticker that says "don't blame blacks for the color of their skin" right next to your "blame whites for historic racism" sticker.
13. Wear a T-shirt with the slogan "my body, my rights" on the front, and on the back has "pass vaccine passport laws now".
Rd later.
8 Gatling Guns?
Don’t ever, ever mention that it was the Democrats that started the KKK. Don’t do it! I mean it! Seriously! Dang, I got cancelled.
would that be the 8rounds in my S&W Shield?
Buy a big boat so you can sail to Venezuela when the $hit hits the fan. In the mean time sail along the US coast and use restsurant free WiFi. If the IRS finds out where you are docked, hoist anchor and head out to International waters for a while.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.