Congress Passes Law To Recognize Juneteenth, The Day Republicans Freed All The Democrats' Slaves

Babylon Bee ^ | 6/16/2021 | Babylon Bee

[BipolarBob]

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Senate has unanimously passed a resolution to recognize Juneteenth as a federal holiday, commemorating the glorious day Republicans freed the last of the Democrats' slaves.

"We are so proud to show the world how not racist we are by officially recognizing the day the Republicans came charging in to free all our slaves," said Senate Democrat Chuck Schumer. "Yeah-- we Democrats did a little 'whoopsie' with that whole slavery thing, but the Republicans corrected it. Thanks, Republicans!"

During this year's Juneteenth, the nation will gather to celebrate the American political party that was founded on protecting human rights of people of all skin colors. Democrats around the country will write letters of apology and organize celebrations for the vast network of Christians, Catholics, Quakers, and Republicans who fought and died to end the scourge of slavery in America.

Congress has also approved the building of a giant elephant statue in D.C. to honor the party responsible for the freeing of slaves from Democrat plantations.

Biden has confirmed he will organize a celebration at the White House after he lays a wreath on the grave of his best friend Robert Byrd

[BipolarBob]

[lerker]

Except for the fake quotes, this is not satire.

[Bshaw]

Funny as hell!

[The_Media_never_lie]

I read that when Lincoln visited Richmond after it fell, the slaves swarmed him with adulation and appreciation. They knew it was Lincoln, a Republican that freed them from Democrat slavery.

[week 71]

Babylon B to the decades old narrative - -DZZZZT

[brianl703]

One of the more interesting things about Virginia is how almost nothing is named after Lincoln.

You kind of get the impression that they really didn’t like him there for some reason.

[Night Hides Not]

Same thing with the dearth of statues of William Tecumseh Sherman in Georgia...lol.

[Deplorable American1776]

The Babylon Bee made me laugh... 🤓

[BipolarBob]

Laughter is the best medicine.

[clearcarbon]

"Biden has confirmed he will organize a celebration at the White House after he lays a wreath on the grave of his best friend Robert Byrd"

(hic!)

[SunkenCiv]

In what *may* be a first for GGG, this one is from Babylon Bee. And it contains more historical truth than one will find on CNN for a year. IOW, we're in bigger trouble than I thought. Thanks BipolarBob.

Related topics:

• Many Have Forgotten, Juneteenth Celebrates Republicans Fight for Freedom [06/20/2021]
• CNN dutifully ‘rubbing raw the sores of discontent’ in headline about Juneteenth becoming a national holiday [06/20/2021]
• AOC calls out ‘white men’ who voted against Juneteenth [06/20/2021]
• Federal holiday pressures companies to give Juneteenth off [06/19/2021]
• Ron Johnson booed at Juneteenth celebration in Wisconsin [06/19/2021]
• Our First Juneteenth as a Federal Holiday [06/19/2021]
• Venmo reparations? Satire merges with reality as white Americans offload their guilt by paying Juneteenth ‘tips’ [06/19/2021]
• Chef's recipe for WATERMELON pizza - which tops a slice of grilled fruit with BBQ sauce, melted cheese, and chorizo - horrifies TikTok users (happy juneteenth) [06/19/2021]
• Illinois Town Holds Juneteenth and Pride Parades… Cancels Fourth of July Parade and Fireworks [06/19/2021]
• Selling Beer and Making Whoopee: A Note on Juneteenth [06/19/2021]
• Juneteenth: The Activist Class Is Never Satisfied [06/19/2021]
• Juneteenth and Affect on Mortgage Closings [06/18/2021]
• Cities of Sacramento, Los Angeles announce reparations coalition on Juneteenth [06/18/2021]
• The Flag of Juneteenth [06/18/2021]
• Radical Leftists at CNN: Juneteenth Must Mean HR 1, Critical Race Theory, Reparations [06/18/2021]
• Flashback: Joe Biden Had No Clue What Juneteenth Was One Year Ago, Confused it With Tulsa Massacre (VIDEO) [06/18/2021]
• For Juneteenth, America needs a new flag that all of us can honor [06/18/2021]
• Blue State Blues: Celebrate Juneteenth, a Republican Victory over Democrat Racists [06/18/2021]
• After Signing Law Making Juneteenth a Federal Holiday A Video From Joe Biden Surface And It Shows That He Didn’t Know What Is Juneteenth [06/18/2021]
• With Juneteenth, Federal Employees Now Get 44 Paid Days Off Each Year [06/18/2021]
• Juneteenth and the Freedom It Unleased [06/18/2021]
• This Juneteenth, Remember Americans Who Put Slavery on the Path to Extinction [06/18/2021]
• Candace Owens Says Juneteenth Gives Black People 'Perpetual Victim Mentality' [06/18/2021]
• ACIP Meeting Registration (CDC emergency mtg. postponed bec. of Juneteenth!) [06/18/2021]
• Federal Workers Will Get Friday Off to Observe Juneteenth (already?) [06/17/2021]
• Biden to sign Juneteenth bill, creating first new federal holiday in decades [06/17/2021]
• House passes bill making Juneteenth a federal holiday, sending it to Biden's desk for signature into law [06/17/2021]
• House to vote Wednesday on making Juneteenth a federal holiday [06/16/2021]
• Senate approves bill to make Juneteenth a federal holiday commemorating the end of slavery in the United States [06/16/2021]
• Senate approves bill to make Juneteenth a federal holiday [06/15/2021]
• Senate unanimously passes a bill making Juneteenth a federal holiday [06/15/2021]
• Trump Pledges to Make Juneteenth Federal Holiday in Bid for Black Voters [09/25/2020]
• GOP senators propose replacing Columbus Day with Juneteenth as a federal holiday [07/02/2020]
• GOP Senators Propose Scrapping Columbus Day, Adding Juneteenth Federal Holiday [07/01/2020]
• Juneteenth, Not July 4th: Ways to Celebrate it this Year [07/01/2020]
• GOP senators debate replacing Columbus Day with Juneteenth as a federal holiday [07/01/2020]
• Juneteenth – The Day Republicans Freed The Democrats’ Slaves [06/26/2020]
• Woke Companies Mark Juneteenth While Reportedly Profiting from China’s Muslim Slave Labor (Abercrombie & Fitch, Amazon, Apple, FILA, General Motors, Google, Nike, and Ralph Lauren) [06/21/2020]
• Joe Biden Did Not Sponsor or Co-sponsor Any Juneteenth Bills in Senate [06/20/2020]
• Michigan Democrat Attorney General Threatens to ‘Criminally Prosecute’ Juneteenth Film Festival Organizers [06/20/2020]

[Fiddlstix]

Bump

[Pelham]

“I read that when Lincoln visited Richmond after it fell, the slaves swarmed him with adulation and appreciation. They knew it was Lincoln, a Republican that freed them from Democrat slavery.”

The best part of America’s confused understanding of Civil War history is that Lincoln didn’t free any slaves in the United States.

The Emancipation proclamation was an executive order applying only to “the States in Rebellion”, aka the Confederacy. The same with Juneteenth.

Enslaved persons in the United States weren’t freed until the 13th Amendment was ratified in December 1865, months after both Juneteenth and Lincoln’s assassination.

Extra credit goes to those who have read Lincoln’s April 15, 1861 message to Congress in which he announces the purpose of his war against the seceding States. Slavery isn’t mentioned.

[SunkenCiv]

Yes, Lincoln called for the preservation of the Union, and the Civil War was started by the South, where the primary issue was slavery. A major part of the revisionism then and now is that Lincoln ran for POTUS to end slavery.

[Pelham]

For logical consistency, was the Revolutionary War started by the Colonials or by London attempting to force them to remain in the empire?

[SunkenCiv]

That’s a ridiculous and illogical thing to ask, and is also part of the revisionism.

[2harddrive]

HISTORY: Not all slaves were freed by the Emancipation Proclamation, nor via Juneteenth. Only the slaves of the REBEL states were freed then. Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation was a wartime effort to split and weaken the South; he did NOT free any slaves in the Northern states. Slaves in the non-rebelling border states had to wait for the 13th Amendment, effective December 18, 1865.