Why didn’t Shakespeare take a selfie? I’ll tell you why because he was threatened to be a white imperialist man by his rivals, especially by Ben Johnson who didn’t like Shakespeare because he didn’t go to football matches in Europe and act like a drunken swine. Ben Johnson got knifed by a white man which he thought just proves his theory on white supremacy. Francis Bacon also didn’t like Shakespeare for different reasons. Francis thought using numbers was racist. Shakespeare once mentioned that he added up all the money he received from his plays and Bacon thought that was racist. Back then only the Greeks and Arabs were allowed to use math, otherwise it was cultural appropriation. However, Shakespeare lived a good life but there was always this constant conspiracy surrounding him, probably cause by the Duke of Oxford. The Duke felt that Climate Change affected Shakespeare’s life and that he had only 20 years to live, so he recommended Shakespeare be treated with leaches that don’t leave a carbon trail. Shakespeare was so distraught with this that he penned Hamlet and it was originally going to be called Bloodlet — where everybody kills each other in the end — as a symbol for Global Warming. The Duke got wind of it and thought Shakespeare was razzing him and that set off a firestorm. The Duke wanted all the bathrooms changed into transgender washrooms just to confuse Shakespeare when he visited Oxford and then the Duke really got into Critical Theory and Wokeness in a vicious big way. He had all the pictures of Shakespeare ripped down in Oxford for being an old white man. That’s why nobody really knows what Shakespeare looked like, except his mom.
LOL