Posted on 04/09/2021 10:44:57 AM PDT by xp38
AUSTIN, TX—In yet another return to normalcy, Texas has announced that effective immediately they will return to their normal mask policy: Anyone wearing a mask is automatically shot, on the assumption that that person is about to rob a stagecoach.
“We done licked that virus good,” announced Texas Governor Greg “Tex” Abbott. “Now it’s time to get back to protecting our precious, precious stagecoaches. So, if you’re wearing a mask -- BAM! Ya dead! Yee-haw!”
Despite Texas having a growing tech sector, the state is still primarily a stagecoach-based economy, with most people in the state making a living from either driving or robbing stagecoaches. The pandemic, with its proliferation of masks, has very much disrupted that industry, and most are happy to have a timeline for things getting back to normal.
“I don’t like masks,” said stagecoach driver Cam “Tex” Matthews. “But lately, you try to shoot people wearing masks, and some Karen will yell at you. Well, that ends now. If you wear a mask, you’ll be answering to ole Betsy here!” Matthews then held up his lever-action rifle and added, “Yee-haw!”
Other states have condemned the announcement by Texas. “It’s just too early to talk about going back to normal,” said California Governor Gavin Newsom. “Maybe after we’re all vaccinated and twenty to forty years have passed with no one getting the virus, then we can talk about taking off masks.” Texas responded by saying they may also add a clause about shooting Californians.
Bless the BEE
As long as no assault wrist braces are used....
I will wait for Snopes to verify this! Stage coach robbers! Ridiculous! More likely they are cattle rustlers!
LOL
Start with mask wearing “antifa”.
The Bee. 😂
Protect the Buc-ees at all costs.
Gotta love the Bee
Bttt.
5.56mm
👍👍
Why not since banks are closed you have to look elsewhere for the varmits.
They seem to think that everyone in Texas says “Yee-haw”.
It’s a proven fact that 57% of Texans say “Whoa-Nellie”.
Why not?
The Bee are a bunch of Californians so that explains it
Ahhhhhh.....
Californians.....
They’re all saying “G’day matey” and “let’s throw another kangaroo on the Barbie.”
Why, they ain’t nuthin’ but a smelly bunch of pole cats!
Women's ignorance has no limit.
How did that Prohibition work out girls??
There was a prohibition on men?
That seems kind of racist.
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